If you read the post on my recent paddleboard excursion you may have noticed something was missing…
A picture of me paddling along the scenic tidal creek.
I wish I could say it was missing because I had the camera and didn’t get around to passing it over to Dan so I could get my photo op.
That would be a lie.
The camera did get passed, and I did get a picture (or three).
But when we got home and uploaded them to the computer I was shocked at what I saw…
Pictures that in my mind made me look 15 pounds heavier and much softer than I am.
After looking at gorgeous pictures of my husband and then seeing mine, I wanted to crawl in to a cave and what’s worst…
Go on a diet.
That’s right, the one thing that I despise, I thought about doing. As the day passed I started focusing on all the things my body can do, and how strong it actually is. Writing the blog post on the trip helped a lot too and I was able to move from a negative mind set to a much more positive one.
I’m a trainer which makes me a motivator, a life coach and more importantly, an example to others.
So I’m sharing that picture that I wanted to hide from… not to get “oh you look great” but because it’s raw and honest. It’s my body and I love it, even on days that I don’t think I love it.
I’m not perfect.
I am, after all… a woman. And I like to think of myself as a relatable one at that.
I understand that blog life is sometimes like a television reality show, people only see a glimpse into my life and often that glimpse is all puppies, flowers, and cupcakes so here’s the truth:
10 Confessions From A Trainer
And feel free to let me know if any strike a cord with you or to share a confession yourself.
1. I wear earphones but don’t listen to anything.
For some reason I focus better with earphones in, even if there is no music playing. But that’s not the only reason for them… people think I’m listening to something and therefore I am able to have some private time without interruptions or distractions. Seriously, 3/4 of the time there is nothing coming out of my plugs.
2. I toss out a scoop of peanut butter.
Oh Dan is going to be so upset if he reads this (love you Dan)… but I get really excited when there is just enough peanut butter left in the jar to make it okay to take a spoon to it and demolish it. I get great satisfaction from pouring a smoothie into the mostly empty jar and enjoying each bite with a bit of a creamy peanut kick at the end. So yes, if there is a spoonful too much left (we’re talking about 1-2 tbsp), but oh so close… I have been known to scoop it and trash it so I can get straight to my jar scraping.
Why? Because if I didn’t that would be like 3 tbsp and then my shake… talk about pb overload.
3. I am an exercise addict.
It started in college and just like all things, once an addict always an addict. Of course I know the importance of rest days and taking time off but it’s hard. I used to sneak in workouts so that my husband didn’t know (years ago) that I was working out 2x a day, several days a week. Now, as a trainer and because I know I have to lead by example… keeping myself in check is a priority.
It helps knowing that I have a supportive husband who keeps me grounded. Sometimes I still get an itch to want to get in a few more miles or do an extra workout with my boot camp but I remind myself why I workout… to be healthy and I back off.
4. I am not athletic.
I am great when it comes to working out, I am good in terms of running, and I have the competitive spirit of a Kenyan. However, when it comes to sports, I suck. Just ask my husband, he’ll agree. So I don’t know why I’m so competitive!
5. I hate planks.
Wow, if my boot campers see this their jaws will hit the floor. But it’s true, I find planks boring and after years of trying to incorporate them into my own workouts and increase my times, I just can’t. After 60 seconds, I am done. I would much rather be doing a core exercise that has me moving.
To be honest, it’s not just planks… any exercise where I have to hold a position will have me giving up before time.
6. I am in a constant state of dehydration.
Water consumption is so important, not only for losing weight but for staying mentally focused and in top physical form. But here’s a crazy confession… I am never thirsty. I have gone an entire day before realizing I haven’t had a single glass of water. I know this is a big issue, so last week I bought a gallon jug to keep near my side. So far so good. It takes me about 36 hours to drink the gallon. That’s a huge improvement.
7. I have walked into the gym only to turn right back around.
Not every workout is a good one. And sometimes, just like you, I have days where it’s just not going to happen. These days are few and far between, but I have walked into the gym, scanned my card, said hi to the front desk staff, walked to the weights and decided “nah, not going to happen.”
I follow the 10 minute rule, give yourself 10 minutes to get into it, if after that time you’re still not feeling it then throw in the towel. But a time or two I couldn’t stomach trying for even 10 minutes.
8. I cry when I workout.
I think I’ve confessed this before but I’ll do it again. When I give my all my face transforms, my eyes fill with tears (they don’t actually fall) and I look as if I am having an emotional breakdown. I am sure people think that Dan and I are fighting but it’s uncontrollable and actually really funny. When it happens, I start to chuckle which also helps to continue working forward.
9. I have fat days.
Just like all women, I have days when I don’t even want to look in the mirror. Days when I wonder… Can people tell I workout? Do I look like a trainer?
See, I have this rule, I won’t do a group fitness class if the trainer doesn’t look in shape. If the class isn’t working for her/him, then why should I think it will work for me?
On fat days I concentrate more on my performance and how I feel instead of the reflection… it helps. A. Lot.
10. If I’m not good at something I get mad.
I know I can’t be good at everything. And I know I am not good at everything (see athletic confession above) however that doesn’t mean that I accept that.
This past weekend when paddleboarding, I may have gotten upset and slapped my paddle in a bit of a tantrum fashion on the water. Dan reminded me that this was not my best quality and that I needed to chillax.
Sometimes I have to remind myself to calm down and to accept the abilities I have, and not dwell on the weaker ones. And also remind myself that I can’t be great at something on my first try.
But why not?
Patience is a virtue… it’s just not one that I have.
So there you have it, my 10 confessions. I’ve been thinking about these for quite sometime now and after my mini melt down on Saturday I knew I not only wanted to share them with you, but I needed to share them to help myself relax.
Now it’s your turn to share a confession…