10 Jaw Dropping Confessions From A Trainer

If you read the post on my recent paddleboard excursion you may have noticed something was missing…

A picture of me paddling along the scenic tidal creek.

I wish I could say it was missing because I had the camera and didn’t get around to passing it over to Dan so I could get my photo op.

That would be a lie. 

The camera did get passed, and I did get a picture (or three).

But when we got home and uploaded them to the computer I was shocked at what I saw…

Pictures that in my mind made me look 15 pounds heavier and much softer than I am.

After looking at gorgeous pictures of my husband and then seeing mine, I wanted to crawl in to a cave and what’s worst…

Go on a diet.

That’s right, the one thing that I despise, I thought about doing. As the day passed I started focusing on all the things my body can do, and how strong it actually is. Writing the blog post on the trip helped a lot too and I was able to move from a negative mind set to a much more positive one.

I’m a trainer which makes me a motivator, a life coach and more importantly, an example to others.

So I’m sharing that picture that I wanted to hide from… not to get “oh you look great” but because it’s raw and honest. It’s my body and I love it, even on days that I don’t think I love it.


I’m not perfect.

I am, after all… a woman. And I like to think of myself as a relatable one at that.

I understand that blog life is sometimes like a television reality show, people only see a glimpse into my life and often that glimpse is all puppies, flowers, and cupcakes so here’s the truth:

10 Confessions From A Trainer

confessions of a personal trainer

And feel free to let me know if any strike a cord with you or to share a confession yourself.

1. I wear earphones but don’t listen to anything.

For some reason I focus better with earphones in, even if there is no music playing. But that’s not the only reason for them… people think I’m listening to something and therefore I am able to have some private time without interruptions or distractions. Seriously, 3/4 of the time there is nothing coming out of my plugs.

2. I toss out a scoop of peanut butter.

Oh Dan is going to be so upset if he reads this (love you Dan)… but I get really excited when there is just enough peanut butter left in the jar to make it okay to take a spoon to it and demolish it. I get great satisfaction from pouring a smoothie into the mostly empty jar and enjoying each bite with a bit of a creamy peanut kick at the end. So yes, if there is a spoonful too much left (we’re talking about 1-2 tbsp), but oh so close… I have been known to scoop it and trash it so I can get straight to my jar scraping.


Why? Because if I didn’t that would be like 3 tbsp and then my shake… talk about pb overload.

3. I am an exercise addict.

It started in college and just like all things, once an addict always an addict. Of course I know the importance of rest days and taking time off but it’s hard. I used to sneak in workouts so that my husband didn’t know (years ago) that I was working out 2x a day, several days a week. Now, as a trainer and because I know I have to lead by example… keeping myself in check is a priority.

It helps knowing that I have a supportive husband who keeps me grounded. Sometimes I still get an itch to want to get in a few more miles or do an extra workout with my boot camp but I remind myself why I workout… to be healthy and I back off.

4. I am not athletic.

I am great when it comes to working out, I am good in terms of running, and I have the competitive spirit of a Kenyan. However, when it comes to sports, I suck. Just ask my husband, he’ll agree. So I don’t know why I’m so competitive!


5. I hate planks.

Wow, if my boot campers see this their jaws will hit the floor. But it’s true, I find planks boring and after years of trying to incorporate them into my own workouts and increase my times, I just can’t. After 60 seconds, I am done. I would much rather be doing a core exercise that has me moving.

To be honest, it’s not just planks… any exercise where I have to hold a position will have me giving up before time.

6. I am in a constant state of dehydration.

Water consumption is so important, not only for losing weight but for staying mentally focused and in top physical form. But here’s a crazy confession… I am never thirsty. I have gone an entire day before realizing I haven’t had a single glass of water. I know this is a big issue, so last week I bought a gallon jug to keep near my side. So far so good. It takes me about 36 hours to drink the gallon. That’s a huge improvement.


7. I have walked into the gym only to turn right back around.

Not every workout is a good one. And sometimes, just like you, I have days where it’s just not going to happen. These days are few and far between, but I have walked into the gym, scanned my card, said hi to the front desk staff, walked to the weights and decided “nah, not going to happen.”

I follow the 10 minute rule, give yourself 10 minutes to get into it, if after that time you’re still not feeling it then throw in the towel. But a time or two I couldn’t stomach trying for even 10 minutes.

8. I cry when I workout.

I think I’ve confessed this before but I’ll do it again. When I give my all my face transforms, my eyes fill with tears (they don’t actually fall) and I look as if I am having an emotional breakdown. I am sure people think that Dan and I are fighting but it’s uncontrollable and actually really funny. When it happens, I start to chuckle which also helps to continue working forward.

9. I have fat days.

Just like all women, I have days when I don’t even want to look in the mirror. Days when I wonder… Can people tell I workout? Do I look like a trainer?

See, I have this rule, I won’t do a group fitness class if the trainer doesn’t look in shape. If the class isn’t working for her/him, then why should I think it will work for me?

On fat days I concentrate more on my performance and how I feel instead of the reflection… it helps. A. Lot.

10. If I’m not good at something I get mad.

I know I can’t be good at everything. And I know I am not good at everything (see athletic confession above) however that doesn’t mean that I accept that.

This past weekend when paddleboarding, I may have gotten upset and slapped my paddle in a bit of a tantrum fashion on the water. Dan reminded me that this was not my best quality and that I needed to chillax.

Sometimes I have to remind myself to calm down and to accept the abilities I have, and not dwell on the weaker ones. And also remind myself that I can’t be great at something on my first try.

But why not?

Patience is a virtue… it’s just not one that I have.

So there you have it, my 10 confessions. I’ve been thinking about these for quite sometime now and after my mini melt down on Saturday I knew I not only wanted to share them with you, but I needed to share them to help myself relax.

Now it’s your turn to share a confession… 


  • I’ll take your “soft” body any day of the week! You look amazing. And all your confessions just make you human. Thanks for sharing!

    My confession–I am way too addicted to running. The thought of an injury is enough to keep me up at nights. Um, so much for well-rounded!

    • haha, even the most well-rounded of us get have a corner from time to time. Thanks!

  • I love that you have confessed to these things. Because many would relate to you and I do too. Have experienced all 10 of these as well.

    • Thanks, I know most women can relate to at least a few of them for sure!

  • I was actually wondering why you didn’t post a picture of you! I know you didn’t write this to hear this…but you look just awesome! I think sometimes we’re sooooo critical of pictures right after we take them, but if you look back at this in a week- I bet you’ll have a totally different view of it. I can’t believe you throw away pb! I think you should put it in a container and save it for me 😉

    • That’s what someone else suggested! A “scratch” jar for pb! If you come to dinner I’ll make you your own BIG jar! 🙂

  • Kim S.

    ummmmm yes, my mouth dropped regarding planks! You mean mean lady! 🙂 I’m right there with ya! I’ve always despised them, but they’re growing on me. But like you I can’t go for any planking record. Two minutes and i’m done, it’s just dumb after that. ha ha. If i’m instantly not good at something I get mad too. Especially at the new gym i’m at. I work out with some pretty elite people and do some complex moves and I get pissed when I have to do the modification of the exercise! Not to mention it crushes my self esteem towards becoming a personal trainer! ah! All in time though! I’ll get there.

    • You rock, forget those people in the gym and work on making yourself elite! You’ll be the best trainer because you’re so real!

  • Kim

    I love how real this post is, Taylor!!
    We actually have a couple of the same confessions – I’m pretty sure that I have an extreme exercise addiction – some days I do OK with keeping it at bay but like you said an addiction never goes away. I’m better than I used to be – there were days when I would be out running at 11:45 to get my 2nd (sometimes 3rd) workout of the day in.
    And, I know you didn’t post the picture looking for compliments but I think you look amazing – you have a strong fit body and it shows!!!

    • Thanks Kim. When I was in my early 20s I was the same, going out at like 10 for a quick “walk”. Still can’t believe i did that back then by myself!

  • I like your confessions and a lot of them are the same :). I wondered why you listened to music in speedwork but now I guess I kinda know, hehe. I actually wear mine during long runs with friends and I don’t listen to them much, but sometimes I turn it on low if Gary’s keys jingling starts to get to me… the thing is I know I will run a half marathon or marathon with the headphones in so I want to be used to them, you know?

    I think the body image is a concern for all women. Btw, it is a great picture. Regardless of body, although I think your body looks great, you are being active and having fun and that makes it a great pic – not defined muscles or abs or anything. A lot of that is more about hydration, how much you’ve eaten, what you’ve eaten in the past few days, whether you just left the bathroom, time of day, etc. Even the “cut” people aren’t always “cut”, and we know that… but the sad thing is… lots of women really don’t, and think they should look like that, or have a “transformation”, then get disappointed when they don’t.

    Sorry I missed y’all yesterday. Next Tuesday it is on though :).

    • Believe it or not, I really do listen to music when we are doing the workout, i hate hearing my feet run and it makes it hard for me to focus on running fast. lol, that’s why when we rest, they come straight out.

      So true about all that influences our body each day! See you Tuesday.

  • We all have our bad days, yes? Sometimes, I have bad months, like right now because I am injured. It is so easy to fall of the wagon, but the key is just getting right back on. It is inspiring to see your commitment and devotion, it’s not easy even for professional trainers!

    • Get better fast Lisa! You have some destination races coming up 🙂

  • i REALLY love this post. i think so many people have images of trainers as these super-confident people who have the perfect relationship with food/exercise and have it all down pat. it’s not that i want to know others are struggling to make myself feel better, but at the same time knowing that even those who i see as having it all don’t actually have it all. you look awesome in that SUP picture but i’m sure me saying that doesn’t make you feel much better about it, because i’ve been there too, a thousand people can tell me i look ok in a picture but if i think i look “soft” or anything else it’s just not going to change my mind. focusing on performance, like you mentioned in this post, has definitely helped me on days when iw as feeling bad about my appearance. in spin class on those days i try to focus on pedaling faster, not on pedaling to get “skinnier”. it takes a lot of mental strength but in the end i’m better off for putting in that effort to push out negativity. also, i love that headphones give people the go-away vibe 😉 i use them to that effect sometimes too. or someone says something to me and i did hear them over my music but pretend i didn’t :X
    thank you for an honest post!

    • Love this comment, thank you Caitlin. Yes, it’s refreshing to know others that you think have it all struggle with the emotions that we all do! I’ve been guilty of your headphone “didn’t hear that” event as well.

  • this is a great post! We all have those moments of feeling disgusted with ourselves or fat. Its how we turn our thought process around that matters. Thanks for sharing! P.s. I’ll eat all your extra pb!

    • Thanks Kaitlin! So true on turning the process around and moving forward.

  • Thanks for the honesty. I can relate to many of your “confessions,” especially the fat days and the water thing. I pour myself a glass of water when I get to work, and sometimes it is still sitting there full when it’s time to go home! I think I’ll go drink now 🙂

    • I’ve done that countless times as well!

  • Sarah

    My jaw dropped for sure on the plank confession!! I agree…I get bored, lol!!!! And i’m with u on #10. I hate when i’m not good at something!! I am my biggest critic!! We all have those bad days, and that again is why I love Bootcamp! I never EVER regret the workout after and even if I couldn’t give my 100% I still burned calories and feel the burn!! Thanks for all u do!! You are an INSPIRATION!!! 🙂

    • Thanks Sarah, you are my inspiration! Every time I workout I think of how hard you and the other girls do and it pushes me! Thanks friend.

  • I love this post. I know you don’t want to hear it, but you look great! I am the same way about a group class. I am a trainer, and if I see a fellow trainer who doesn’t look like they workout it kind of makes me paranoid because I don’t want to look like that! It sounds shallow, but in this industry our bodies are our biggest marketing tool. If we are kicking other peoples’ butts, then we should be doing the same to ourselves!

  • Amanda

    You are amazing! You have no idea how much you inspire me and how much of a role model you are for me and so many other women. Here are some of mine:
    1. I am not happy with my body most of the time, but I pretend to be because I know I need to be a role model for other women as a trainer
    2. Sometimes running, I really just don’t go the extra mile literally…for example a few days ago I had to run 6 miles and I ran 5.1 because I felt crappy and was thirsty but I should have pushed through
    3. I eat more sweets than I should, but probably not as much as I think I do…its hard to tell reality from my mind sometimes because I am hard on myself a lot.
    4. Every bikini photo of me that is taken (which isnt a lot) I am sure to suck in my stomach and lean slightly back a little so my stomach looks more muscled and thin

    • Xoxo! We’re all too hard on ourselves! You’re gorgeous! But when you get back here, you will hit those training runs! haha

      • Amanda

        hahah yes I will!!!

  • Cassie

    Most of your confessions I can relate to except throwing out peanut butter and wearing earphones with no music. Funny that you hate planks- I actually love planks…however I tried to do one today and I can barely stay up for 20 seconds. I have a LONG road to recovery and I don’t think that I ever thought it could be this hard. I am very frustrated with how weak I am but I know slow and steady I will get back into shape.

    • You’ll be back in shape before you know it!!

    • Dan

      Cassie I can’t believe that you only held a plank for 20s… the former plank queen! I think I can finally beat you… Ha!

      You’ll get stronger a lot faster than you think you will.

  • Rebecca

    Definitely agree with you on planks! I max out after a minute and a half because I just get bored. Also, I am not athletic, yet I work out a lot…but when it comes to playing sports? Never did it! I also do the headphone thing 🙂

    • Yup, no thanks on just sitting there! haha

  • Love love love this post!

  • i see one smokin hot bod! and yes, i can relate to ALL of your confessions. LOVE You woman!

    • Thanks hot stuff! Right back at ya 😉

  • You’re amazing for sharing these things. But, you hate planks?!? Haha! I do too. Thank you for making me do them. 😉

    • Haha, cats out of the bag.

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  • I have never walked into a gym to walk right back out but I have definitely wanted to! I’m always too embarrassed to do that though (don’t want anybody to see my workout fails!) so I just get on the treadmill and walk for a bit instead.

    This was a cool post! But I need a moment of silence for the peanut butter haha.

  • Fiona MacDonald

    Every single ONE of these points hit home with me. I am a self-proclaimed workout addict and I often need to be told to chill out to avoid over-exercising or injury..(over-exercising is NOT often in my vocab) ..Thanks for sharing such an honest post!

    • Thanks Fiona, it’s nice to know I can relate to some many awesome women! It’s not in my vocab often either.

  • I just posted some paddleboarding pics and thought the SAME THING. I was like, huh, that’s what I looked like? But, then I saw how my arms looked toned and that’s what I’ve been trying to work on a little more. So I posted away.

    • What a coinidence! I am in love paddleboarding right now. I love that outlook, check out the positive and focus on that! I ended up doing the same. Thanks Amy.

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