4 Steps To Deal With Disappointment + JI 10K Race Recap

Yesterday morning I ran a 10K, the  James Island Connector Run. I actually set a new PR (personal record), and then I went home and cried, oh and slept.

Let me back up, when my alarm started to go off.

Something like this happened…


Dan: Rolls over and asks “How are you feeling?”

Me: “I’m fine, I’m feeling better.”

Dan: “I wish you wouldn’t run this race, you’re still sick and need to just rest.”

Me: “It’s less than an hour, after the race, I’ll come home and rest. I will be fine.”

Since last Sunday, I’ve been hit by some cold or bug. Yet, I thought since I was feeling better I would be able to get out and run the race I wanted.

Big mistake.

The JI Connector 10K

The James Island Connector Run is a there and back course. You run 3 hills that form the bridge, then turn around and run it all again. It was tough, and some of my friends said it was the hardest 10K course they’ve ever run.


1 of 3 inclines (doesn’t look like much but it was tough!)

Like I mentioned on Friday, I trained really hard for this race. My goal? 45 minutes.

Let’s just say I didn’t come close.

The second my foot ran over the starting line I knew I was in trouble. Every step took all the energy I had (which wasn’t a lot) and at every mile marker I was cursing myself for not listening to Dan.

I hated the race from the moment I started until I finished.

It was a great race, and under normal circumstances I probably would have enjoyed it… though I don’t think I would have gotten the 45 either way (those 6 hills were SO HARD).

With all the conjestion and wheezy breathing, I still managed to keep the first 4 miles under 8 minutes. I have no idea how… well, that changed when the wheezing made me queazy.

I stopped to walk.

I’ve NEVER walked during a race and for the first time I understood just how tired my body was and how hard I was trying to push it.

I started running again… my pace back under 8 mins but the drive was gone. I ended up walking once more at around mile 5 for 20 seconds to catch my breath (I have never wheezed before which was nerve wracking).

When I saw that finish line I just wanted this race to be over. I wanted to hug Dan and tell him I was sorry for not listening.



Amy & I Post Race

I crossed the line with a time of 49.18… since I’ve only done one other 10K race before (the Cooper River Bridge), I ended up with a PR of 19 seconds.

–> Is is bad that I don’t feel I deserve this PR?

–> Is is bad that when they placed a medal around my neck (all finishers received a pretty sweet medal), I wanted to hand it back and tell them I didn’t deserve it? 

Realizing Disappointment


Heyward & Jeanette

Sure I was bummed at the end of the race, but I had friends around me and I didn’t focus too much on my performance at that time.

It wasn’t until I got into my car to drive home.

It was at that point that I realized how much running is a part of me and how much of a competitor I am…

I cried.

I cried because my body had let me down.

I cried because I had wanted this PR so bad, yet being sick kept me from giving my all.

I cried because I wasn’t being kind to my body.

I cried because I had to walk.

I cried because I was disappointed with myself.

4 Ways Of Dealing With Disappointment


We all have to handle disappointment from time to time. It’s a human issue that comes with the territory and makes us stronger and teaches us about ourselves.

1- Express It, Don’t Bottle It Up.

No emotion should be bottled it. That’s when things eventually boil over and suddenly you’re having an emotional breakdown and crying about events that happened 6-months ago.

When something happens that doesn’t go your way, experience the feeling in the now. Don’t be ashamed.

Cry, meditate, or talk it out with someone you love and trust.

Crying was quite the cathartic experience for me yesterday and I immediately felt better for not trying to act tough and satisfied with the way it went.

2- Support.

Even though Dan didn’t want me to race, he was still there at the finish line to snap pictures and congratulate me.

He also helped to put things into perspective… reminding me that a 49.18 is a respectable time for a healthy person and I did it sick.

No it wasn’t my goal, but it wasn’t anything to be ashamed of either.

In fact, it wasn’t just Dan. I received several texts from friends congratulating me. Thank you.

Having that kind of support helps to see the bigger picture and lifted my spirits immediately.

Which brings me to the next step…

3- Get Perspective

What’s the worst thing that can come out of your disappointment?

For me, it’s that I have to find another 10K before February so that I can hit my goal for a seeded spot in the race.

Did this one race weaken me? Did it change my life for the worst?

No, in fact it probably helped. I realized just how much my running performances mean to me. I also learned that it’s okay to walk away from a race sometimes, then I wouldn’t have been in the bed for most of the day feeling worst than when I started.

Stop for a second and ask yourself…

“What’s the worst thing that’s going to happen…” Likely nothing that can’t be recovered.

As Dan would say in a mocking voice, this was #firstworldproblems.

4- Accept and Move On

I had a bad race. We all go through rough patches sometimes.

So what.

Accept it, set new goals and move on.

Use your experiences as fuel to motivate you to success.

So things didn’t happen as planned THIS TIME… that doesn’t mean things won’t go better the next.

Don’t give up. Be patient. Be strong.

James Island Connector 10K Overall Thoughts


Katie ran a 45.15!

Honestly, I loved the James Island Connector Race. It was one of the hardest road races I’ve done and even if I was feeling great, I would have thought the same thing.

It’s not a PR course, but the energy is high. It’s extremely organized. And the after party is great… free beer, food and awesome medals to all who crossed the finish line.

I never drink after a race (much less when I’m sick), but Dan enjoyed the free pouring Palmetto Beer that was served.

If you’re looking for a fun challenge, definitely do this run next year!

I think Amy summed it up perfectly this morning when she announced on Facebook that her body felt as if she had run a half marathon due to the steep hill climbs and muscle strains.


As soon as I got home, I crashed. I felt worst than I had all week and it was all my fault. I made my bed and I was forced to lay in it for the remainder of the day with a stuffed up nose and ugly cough.

How was your weekend?
What’s one thing you did?

*I was am ambassador for the JI Connector Race. While I received a free bib, all thoughts and opinions are my own.


  • Kindal,

    Please do not beat yourself up over this race. It is just a race. You have another one on Saturday. For you, Katie, and I… and a lot of other participants, this race was just another Saturday morning. We do this almost every Saturday (6 of the last 7 for me). You really did your best out there with what you had and there is no shame in stopping to walk part of a race… especially THAT race. That last hill killed everyone, and while I’m not disappointed in myself, I am a little sad that NO ONE who set a time goal yesterday met it. Even if you shouldn’t have run it, you did… and there are some good things that came from it. It was the one day of the year you can run the connector, and you were a race ambassador. We all have some race in our history that we just should not have done (mine was a 5K back in 2010 when I was extremely anemic).

    If I were you, I would look at this as a training run for your sub-45 10K (which you can easily get based on your half time). The hills/inclines of the JICR are *great* training that you can’t get anywhere else in Chas- not even in the garages or on the CRB. So you may not be at your goal but you are closer than you were.

    • Thanks for putting it into perspective Amy. Everything you said is true, and that’s how I am going to look at it… it was a training run! 🙂 Thanks. Great job to you as well. Now to rest up for next weekend!

  • Melissa

    I had a disappointing race a week ago. It was supposed to be my second 1/2 marathon, but I was diagnosed with IT Band syndrome in late September.
    I ended up transferring from the 1/2 marathon to the 10k and walking the entire race, since it’s still hurts when I run.
    It was my first race where I walked so it didn’t feel like an “official” race to me because I wasn’t running. I got my medal, too; the nicest one I have. 🙂
    I know there will be other great races in the future for both you & me. Good luck!

    • I’m sorry to hear about your IT band! I hope it’s doing better? But you’re right, one race when there are tons more in the future. We’ll do great in the future!

  • Lea

    oh you did great! especially for a hard course and being sick. AND your got a PR – next time you will redeem yourself when you are healthy, I am sure.

  • Inclines are KILLER! I can say that for sure after my last half….I hope that you feel better. It is hard- but always best to listen to our bodies!

  • Jen

    Thank you so much for sharing your experiences and knowledge! It is awesome to hear people have the same goals as I do. I did a marathon on the 20th…goals of not walking or stopping. I didn’t feel good the week leading up to the run and I mentally prepared myself for the possibility of walking/stopping. After I finished, I balled….so glad it was over! I am starting to feel proud that I did the marathon and accomplished my goals…but it has taken a while to see the accomplishment! Keep sharing!

    • Thanks so much Jen! Congrats on your marathon! That is a huge accomplishment! But clearly I understand your feeling. People can tell you all day long that you did great and should feel proud, but you can’t help how you truly feel. I’m glad you’re seeing just how awesome of a feat you accomplished!

  • Kim

    I’m sorry that you had a tough day – I think that part of the emotional feelings come from being sick and worn down!
    You had a great time and when you factor in the course and the fact that you were sick (and probably shouldn’t have been running!) you did an incredible job!!! You will make your goal when you run healthy.
    I hope that you can take some time and let your body completely recover – both from being sick and the race!!!

    • Thanks Kim. You’re right rest is what I need and I’m definitely following orders this time.

  • Megz

    Your body didn’t let you down- you can’t be 100% healthy all the time. Look at it this way, despite being sick it carried you 10kms in less than 5min per km- that’s FAST. Having unrealistic expectations of ourselves is what leads to frustration.
    Feel better soon!

    • Thanks, that def helps put things into perspective. You’re completely right! I have done nothing but rest since then and feel so much better now!

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