Why talk about disappointment? Because last night that’s what I was… full out disappointed.
The evening started off wonderfully. Dan and I decided to turn out cocktail date into a full out date. It was exactly what we needed! With all the work we’ve been putting into Fit Women’s Weekly these past few weeks, a night out on the town was just what the doctor ordered.
We started at our favorite Italian restaurant/wine bar, Osteria La Bottiglia. It’s our favorite because during happy hour, wine is just $4 a glass! You can not beat that!
I started with a glass of sparkling red. It was okay, not my favorite. It was a little too sweet and while I thought the idea of a chilled red sounded great, it just wasn’t. Not that it stopped me from drinking it.
I was sporting the fedora thanks to my wonderful sister-in-law! Love that hat.
But the ambience was perfect, the bar tender was awesome and the company wasn’t too bad either. After a second glass of wine (this time the cab), I just wasn’t in the mood to have to go home and cook. So I suggested we walk up the block to our favorite “hole in the wall” sushi joint, Sushi Hiro.
Sushi Hiro, No More My Sushi Hero
The place had recently undergone some renovations and for the past few weeks whenever we’ve gone downtown we remind ourselves it’s time to stop in and see what they’ve done with the place.
OMG, it wasn’t even recognizable except for the same sign outside.
This was our favorite place because it was so quaint, the menu had EVERY type of traditional sushi you could imagine and the prices were cheap. They didn’t have several of the “fancy rolls” because they were all about tradition, and the owner/sushi chef stuck to his guns at making “real sushi”. Sometimes the simplest of rolls are the most flavorful.
So real in fact, that at our last visit Dan and I tried a jelly fish roll and I even tried a raw quail egg (clearly before the vegan bug bit me).
Yum Jellyfish Roll! Source
So imagine our surprise when we walked in with blue lights around the place, posh tables, and a complete sake bar. It looked nothing like our “hole in the wall sushi joint.”
And the menu, or should I say lack there of was a total buzz kill. Very rolls to choose from (especially for a SUSHI restaurant) and more than half of them were so fancy and big that they no longer look like sushi.
Of course that also meant the prices were jacked up like hell.
I was pretty bummed, but I also took it as a chance to try something new, and turn the disappointment into a learning experience. So I got the vegan ramen soup instead. Ever since we watched Ramen Girl (great movie), Dan and I have wanted to try real ramen, not the $0.16 stuff in the store, but real, traditional ramen.
Dan stuck to a few rolls, but was quite upset he couldn’t get a repeat of the jelly fish roll (sounds scary but it is A-May-Zing).
Oh yea, they also had a fancy bar menu, I ended up with this little guy, a Water Lily. Since I knew I had a long run planned for this morning I decided that a drink containing coconut water, had to be a great choice! Dan just rolled his eyes at me for this thought process.
Water lily: coconut water, cucumber, lemon, and sake
The ramen was good, and for a bit my disappointed disappeared… until the check came. Let me put this into perspective.
The last time we came, we had a total of 6 rolls (SIX) and we had several drinks between us and the quail egg. Our bill was less than $35.00. I told you… cheap and delicious.
Last night: 4 rolls, 2 beers (Dan), 1 cocktail, and ramen was $56.00.
Yup, disappointment came back again.
So that got me to thinking… how should we handle disappointment when it pops up in life. Because clearly, it’s going to be there from time to time. Life doesn’t always go as planned… we win some, we lose some. Last night we lost our favorite sushi joint. Damn.
How To Deal With Disappointment (And come out stronger)
1. Learn from it. This one might be obvious, and it’s something we’ve heard over and over again. But do you really take it to heart? When you are disappointed, take a few minutes and ask yourself out loud: “Things didn’t turn out like I had wanted, why or why not and what can I do differently the next time?”
So what if it takes some thinking, you’re feel better asap simply by coming up with a solution. Having a solution to any problem is always a mood lifter.
2. Forgive but don’t forget. This is something I am working on right now. When someone lets me down, I have a hard time forgiving. What can I say, I am a grudge holder but at least being aware of this issue is helping me to change (I am a true believer that you can teach an old dog new tricks).
Whether you disappoint yourself or someone else disappointed you, you can’t keep it hanging over your head. Talk about the issue, and forgive yourself or the other person.
Don’t just say “I forgive you”. Mean it. Forgiveness doesn’t mean forgetting. If you “forget” you’re setting yourself up for another spurt of disappointment.
I forgive our sushi restaurant for changing. They are trying to fit into the the “sheekness” of downtown Charleston. And the place was packed (it wasn’t before which is why it was our hole in the wall). But that doesn’t mean we will go there again either.
3. Don’t beat yourself up. No one criticizes you like you criticize yourself. We are our own worst judges, and while this can be a great thing in terms of helping you push beyond boundaries to accomplish amazing things, it can also hurt you. Simply ask why you are upset with yourself, decide what you’ll do differently next time and move on.
I’ve had several experiences over the past few years with building a business when I am pissed at myself for something I did wrong or something I didn’t do at all.
But you can’t change what’s already happened.
4. Don’t allow for disappointment. Yea, it’s as simple as that. This morning I set out at 5:30 am with the goal to run 10 miles. This is the farthest distance I have ever tried to run and while there were times I wanted to give up, I knew I would be upset if I did.
When my legs got tired and my body tried to tell me to stop, I knew it was just whining and that I could push farther, I had to push farther. Disappointment wasn’t an option, success what the only option.
That internal competitive side of me has helped me in many facets of life. When I want to give up, I think of how I will feel if I do and I keep working. It can also be my downside, since I am so stubborn. But for the purpose of this post, it’s my biggest strength.
5. Have a support group. Sound cheesy? Think about it, if you feel “blah” about something then your entire mood is going to go down the dumps. While we’re all allowed to have bad days, it helps to have someone (or several someones) to talk to about it. They might have another view point to the situation that you haven’t thought about all already.
When I am down in the dumps, Dan knows just what to do so that I can lighten up and smile. There are times when I want to be pissed at the world, but he won’t let that happen. Thanks hubs!
So there ya have it!
As for my run this morning, it kicked butt! From the second I turned on my audio book, and my GPS watch linked to the satelite, I knew I was going to bring my A game.
Sorry for the poor picture… but I “SMASHED” my records and hit 10.00 miles, 10.08 average pace, 892 calories burned.
Farthest distance to date, and I dropped my pace by almost 20 seconds for last weekend.
Of course when I saw the “10.00” pop up, I realized my legs were shot, I was thirsty and waking up at 4:45 on a Saturday sucks”. But I felt accomplished and definitely NOT disappointed!
- What are your tips on dealing with disappointment?
- What’s on the agenda for the weekend?
- Do you like the “fancy” sushi rolls are more traditional?