How To Face Your Fears To Get The Body You Want

by TaylorR

FEAR!

We live in a sociey where we are embarrassed to acknowledge fear. We don’t want others to see our weaknesses and we are paralyzed by the idea of failure.

Fear of failure is our greatest weakness of all. Followed closely by fear of success.

If you allow fear to run your life, fear will be the only thing running. You’re left standing still like a deer in headlights.

And let’s face it, I don’t want to live like that and I am sure you don’t either.

In fact, this is an issue I am continually working on, as is Dan. We don’t want fear to hold us back, but it does. It’s the reason that we read books like the one I am talking about below. I, like everyone else, need to practice what I preach, I need to be a stronger person and I have to face my fears and do it anyway…

How To Face Your Fears To Accomplish Your Fitness Goals

 

I know it’s a shocker that I have a book and topic to discuss rather than Dan. But it was a fast read and to be honest, Susan Jeffers did a great job at keeping my attention. I wanted to continue reading as every chapter of Feel The Fear And Do It Anyway, resognated with me.

653396

Let’s talk… Fear 

The Questions To Face Your Fears

What are you afraid of? 

That’s the first question you need to ask yourself. And then you need to accept that fear as a reflection of poor confidence.

Tough love right?

But it’s true, no matter if you have a fear of public speaking or walking on a crack in the sidewalk or losing weight just to gain it all back again…  it comes back to confidence. Remind yourself that you are good enough!

You have the power to face those fears and overcome them. It’s not a chronic condition, it’s just a hiccup holding you back right now.

What’s the worst thing that will happen?

Susan goes over this over and over again, so that is clearly a red flag for it’s importance.

So many times our feet become glued to the ground because we are fearful of making the wrong decision. But any decision is better than no decision at all.

Staying stuck in limbo won’t get you any closer to where you want to be.

And seriously, if you make the “wrong” decision (though Susan says there is no wrong decision), what’s the worst thing that can happen? Is the world going to collapse? Of course not, you’ll survive. If you set a goal to have a 6-pack by June (yea that would be me) and it doesn’t happen, so what? You continue to go after the goal, you make some tweaks to the plan to help the process along and you go forward. Do not let fear of failure hold you back! 

Are you ready to change? 

You look in the mirror and see a reflection that has morphed a bit. Each day you tell yourself that you’re ready to change, to drop the weight that has piled on, to improve your life and the lives of your family members.

Yet day after day, everything remains the same: food, lack of exercise, lack of sleep, etc.

Clearly, you’re not ready to change. And that’s okay… but acknowledge that.

Then when you have the moment when you decide enough is enough, you’ve sat around long enough “wanting to change” then commit to it!

Commit to facing your fears, and going through with a plan.

Why would you be afraid of losing weight? 

–> Fear of giving up your favorite foods

–> Fear of making your family miserable

–> Fear of feeling out of shape when you go to workout

–> Fear of realizing that weight loss isn’t going to be an overnight event.

Just to name a few.

Practice Every Day

Are you a talker or a doer? 

This hit home for me. I realize that from time to time I can be a talk. I am great at giving advice yet sometimes find that I don’t follow that advice myself.

How can I become the best person I can be if I don’t follow what I preach? Telling others what I want to do, and then not following through makes me a talker.

We all need to strive to be doers!

Be a doer, damn it!

And finally…

Are you taking responsibility? 

Everything happens to you for a reason and it’s no one elses fault but your own. You will not grown and improve if you don’t take full responsibility for the cards that have been dealt to you.

Here are a few common examples of playing the blame game for our bodies:

My body looks like this because of my kids.

I gained weight because my husband brings home junk food.

I haven’t worked out because the weather has been awful.

We are responsible for ourselves, no the kids or our husband or the weather.

So how can you take responsibility?

The 5 Golden Nuggets To Take Responsibility For Your Life/Body

nuggets

1. Don’t blame anyone else for anything you are being, doing, having of feeling. 

It’s no one’s fault but your own. As you are in control of how you handle situations and how you allow someone to dictate how you feel.

2. Don’t blame yourself. 

Sounds to go against what is above, right? It’s not, it simply means not to allow yourself to be a victim of yourself. Don’t allow your confidence to be beaten down by your inner voice.

Things happen in life, but don’t beat yourself up over them. Instead, look at issues like a learning experience, take from each decision or action what you can and use it in the future to move on in life.

Diet didn’t work? No biggie, try something else that better fits your lifestyle and goals!

3. Know when/where you’re not taking responsibility.

Self awareness friends, that is what growth is all about! I love that Susan shared this as I agree completely.

Be aware of your actions, thoughts and reactions and make a conscious effort to change when you find yourself being irresponsible.

4. Deal with the inner beast.

You know that person that tries to talk you down, the one that no one else hears but you hear loud and clear.

When the beast tries to convince you otherwise, ask yourself “what’s the worst that can happen.” and move forward.

Don’t let the negative talk stop you from trying new things. The negative talk is simply fear trying to hold on to control!

5. Be aware of payoffs.

What are the payoffs of not taking action? Most often, the biggest payoff of not changing is because it’s easy.

Have a talk with yourself, or even write down your pros and cons of not taking action or of not facing your fears.

The payoffs of not losing 25 pounds? Not having to go to a gym after a long day of work; not having to worry about making good nutritional choices; no fear of feeling embarrassed or out of place while working out.

But what are the payoffs of taking action to lose the weight? Feeling more confident, having more energy, improving over all health, wearing clothes better, keeping up with the kids better, etc.

Then it’s up to you… which payoffs do you like the best? And go!

We discussed much more than what’s written above, however I can’t possibly share it all.

Because of that, I definitely urge you to listen to the podcast when you have the opportunity!

I think we all have fears that hold us back, I know that I do! And anytime I am able to focus on them more, I walk away a much stronger person.

What’s something you’re afraid of? 

I used to have a fear of cats. The way they look at you as if they can see into your soul. It creeped be out big time. It didn’t help that my childhood cat was the meanest animal in existance.

Luckily since we’ve gotten Nike, I have realized that they aren’t so bad after all! I love my kitty and have gotten better with other cats too!

 

{ 11 comments… read them below or add one }

Jojo @ RunFastEatLots April 30, 2014 at 7:34 am

I’m afraid of frogs. I think it might be genetic because my brother has an even worse frog phobia! I freak out if there is one hopping around on the ground, but I’m fine when they’re in a tank or something.

Reply

TaylorR April 30, 2014 at 4:04 pm

That’s crazy you’re both afraid of fogs. I love frogs! I was that weird girl that chased friends with them! haha

Reply

purelytwins April 30, 2014 at 9:20 pm

too funny Jojo!! Lori is afraid of frogs too!!

Reply

TaylorR May 1, 2014 at 8:29 am

Frogs are cute! Maybe not toads, but tree frogs. haha

Reply

Brittany @ Barr & Table April 30, 2014 at 12:06 pm

Get out of my head! Haha I actually JUST said to Nathan last night I’m having trouble making the commitment to myself. I know what I want to change and I know that I need to change the way I’m eating to make that happen, but when it comes down to ordering at a restaurant, I get caught up in the excitement of trying something new over a healthier option like a salad. I’m hoping that I can make the commitment to myself soon so I stop getting so frustrated!

Reply

TaylorR April 30, 2014 at 4:04 pm

Haha, I guess we are just too alike!

Reply

Amy Lauren April 30, 2014 at 4:19 pm

I’m not really trying to make a lot of changes to my body (especially since it seems like my cruise “weight” will be gone pretty soon since it was water retention anyway)…. but I think your list kinda applies for life in general.

I think people are so scared of failure and sometimes it is good to fail, because you realize it is not the end of the world. I was talking to someone on the Charleston BGR group the other day, it’s like having a bad race… it happens, and once it happens, you realize that life goes on, and you can learn from those mistakes.

Sometimes you just have to take the leap of faith and try- with weight loss and fitness, even the small changes can make a big difference at first, and when people start to see results, they might be more motivated to continue and make bigger changes.

Reply

TaylorR May 1, 2014 at 8:28 am

You are right, it does apply to more than just weight loss! You are so right, to me having the bad experiences are very humbling. It’s actually nice to have a bad race from time to time as it reminds you of the work that goes into everything and that you aren’t in 100% control.

Reply

lindsay April 30, 2014 at 5:34 pm

ahh so true! and it’s so much more than losing weight, it’s about striving for what you WANT.. we can’t be afraid

Reply

TaylorR May 1, 2014 at 8:28 am

Exactly! Cheers to no fear!

Reply

Lili July 31, 2014 at 6:30 pm

Not exactly a phobia, but I sometimes use the excuse that I’ll never look the way I want to anyway. I have a pear shaped body and I can’t make my hip bones shrink and my chest go up a couple sizes by exercising. Either way, I won’t have an hourglass figure like I want.

Reply

Leave a Comment

{ 1 trackback }

Previous post:

Next post: