The Naked Truth: My Body 10 Pounds Heavier

I’m not sure if I’ve ever shared the picture below.

I found it recently in a scrapbook. Yes, that’s me on the left. And I was just about 15 pounds heavier than I am at this very moment… but what I difference in the kind of weight then versus what I am carrying now.

college-weight

I’ve had this post written in my head for weeks. The words have been trapped between my ears, trying to get out but unable.

You see, as a personal trainer I have an image to uphold. People expect their trainer to look as if they fell from the pages of Shape Magazine. Not only is it my job to motivate clients and you guys with awesome workouts, but by showing that my workouts work.

So yes, while I knew I wanted to write this post, I let it simmer in my head to decide exactly how I wanted to go about it and when the time was right. Plus, it’s a delicate subject, one that deserves to be written with finesse to not offend anyone.

The time couldn’t be any more perfect that at this moment. Everyone is scurrying around to up the antics of their workouts, aiming to beat the holiday bulge and kick off the year at them best version of themselves.

Plus, it was exactly a year ago when I was presented with the challenge to gain weight. Yup, while most people were running around (literally) trying to lose weight, I was slowing down and trying to put the weight on to become the best version of myself.

The Perfect Body

Clearly, I don’t have the perfect body. If you thought I was going to say I did, sorry to disappoint. But I will say this… I am guilty of sharing pictures that present me in a way to have a great body.

arm-toned

Right after a workout, when my arms of swollen. When Dan catches my body in just the right angle. Or when I just happen to get lucky snapping my own picture. The lighting, shadows, angle… everything is working in my favor.

spartan-race-fire

That’s not a normal occurrence, and on many occasions, pictures get taken and forgotten about. Why would I want to share something that isn’t awesome?

I’m human after all. And I’m still adjusting to my new body.

I find myself comparing my body to other girls in the gym just like everyone else. Heck, I compare myself to clients too, wondering if they can out perform me. Remember that competitive drive?

Anyways… this is normal. If you’re a human you’re going to find yourself trying to present yourself in a way that is better than the actual package.

But, today, I don’t want to do that. I want to present the truth and nothing but the truth.

The Naked Truth

Why am I doing this?

For one, because it has taken a long time to be comfortable with my body.

The 10 pound challenge was a huge mental test. Anyone can gain 10 pounds, but to be comfortable with it… that’s the hard part.

There were many days/weeks/months when I struggled with this process, I wanted to get my weekly milage over 30 (which it hasn’t been in over 12 months) and I wanted to go back to a vegan diet because those were the factors that led me to get to my slimmest ever… 108 pounds (I was here for a very short time) and then maintain what I thought was my “healthy weight’ of 113 pounds.

palm70light

And I would lie if I said I didn’t still struggle.

Out of all the questions I receive, it’s this topic that pops up the most frequently.

Women asking if I followed through, how I felt, and how I did it because they too were given the challenge.

So here it is…

Here’s my body at 10 pounds heavier.

10 More Pounds

1-9-15-self

No, 10 pounds isn’t a lot. But when you kick off the challenge at 113 pounds and bring that up to 123 pounds… that is quite a difference. Like going from 29 to 30 years old, going from the teens to the 20s… it was tough. I won’t lie.

This is just my situation, and trust me I realize that 123 pounds if a very healthy and even low weight for someone my size (I’m 5’5).

I thought since I have received so many questions on the topic, I would cover a few things that I have learned and a few ways my body has changed.

tabkerockflex
    • I was underweight. At the time, I was proud of my low weight. I would smile each time I stepped on the scale. Things are different. I can still fit into all of my clothes, but they fit me the way clothes are suppose to fit. I fill places out that shouldn’t have been empty. And I can’t help but wonder, if I can wear the same size, how must I have looked?
    • Energy and more energy! If you read LiftingRevolution in 2013, you may have recalled me complaining about low energy and just feeling off. I was anemic and overall unhealthy. Looking back, I think that was all due to the fact I was too frail and malnourished for all the training I was doing. 2014 was filled with energy and I was able to accomplish so much yet with less training that in previous years. It was a powerful year for sure.
    • Muscles. Of course I saw the shape of my body change. Strength was something I never had a big problem obtaining, but the muscles to reflect that strength was. With the extra calories, and the lower mileage for the first time ever, my body was actually given the opportunity to build. For the first time, I look at pictures and go “wow! Look at my guns!” I still have room for more growth, but it’s been fun.
    • Renaissance woman. When I was lighter, I was faster. I was able to run and run and run. But that was about it. My strength, while there, wasn’t improving quickly. And I felt that aside from running, I really wasn’t excelling at anything. Now, I feel I have the body to accomplish a ton. Kettlebells have helped with that too. Trail running, obstacles, hills, weight lifting… everything is going great!
    • Things get softer. Whoever says that you can build 100% muscle without adding fat is a liar. It takes calories to build muscle, and the process isn’t perfect. 100% of those calories can’t be converted to muscle, some will be added to fat. So, yes, my boobs have gotten a bit bigger, my waist a bit thicker, and my thighs… oh my thighs.

So I know what you might be thinking? Am I happy?

Yes.

At this particular moment, I am not trying to be on the cover of Shape Magazine. Instead of showing how to get the ultimate six pack, I want my mission in life to show women how to have a healthy, fit body that allows room for champagne and chocolate cake. I’m not giving those things up anytime soon.

New Goals

If it were up to Dan, he would challenge me to gain another 10 pounds. That’s not going to happen. I am content with my shape right now and if I do gain more weight I will have to buy new clothes. No thanks.

I am however, ready to start burning off some of this fat so I can get a full idea of the muscle that I have added. That’s the goal for the next few months. To get my body in shape for the ultimate adventures we have planned. Which are big! <— I promise, I’ll share them soon!

I want to be the best athlete I can be this year and that means burning off some of this extra fat and continue pushing my muscles to increase strength, stamina, and power.

And that’s where we are.

If you like these posts and want me to continue to share my personal goals and transformations let me know and I will do it more often than 1x per year. I’m an open book… clearly.

Thanks for supporting me last year and for your interest. If you have been given the same challenge, embrace it and enjoy the ability to eat a bit more than normal!

Tell me one of your goals for the year!

Comments:

  • carla birnberg

    I love this as my life is finally alllll intuitive. exercise, food and LIVING. when we slooooow and listen to our bods we KNOW how we feel best. xo

    • Yes exactly! Oh isn’t it great to live life intuitively! hard but great!

  • Christine Tewfik

    Your blog is one of my favorites. These days I feel that, in the health blog world, content quality is deteriorating due to more sponsored posts than not, with your blog being one of the few exceptions. Posts like this make that even more true. The thoughts that go through your head are thoughts that go through my head, and I love how you don’t hide your struggles, and try to overcome. It’s great. Also, you look great, and I have noticed the increased muscles mass from your workout stills. I’d love to see more posts like this, if you would like to keep writing them, so keep them coming!

    • Thank you so much Christine, that means a lot. That’s why I share, because I know I’m not the only one who thinks like this (at least I hope not) and this is where I clean my head! Just happens people read my diary! ha.

  • Bryan Ganey

    Kindal, great post. You look fantastic, but you know that. I found the same thing. I actually lost so much weight that I began to look “too thin” and realized I needed to put about 5 pounds back on. That’s really hard to accept mentally. Needless to say, I won’t be posting half-naked pictures on my blog anytime soon. I can’t quite pull it off like you can!

    • Thanks Bryan! You look quite amazing too! SO proud of you and your biking has really gone crazy! Awesome.

  • you.are.beautiful. 10lbs of HEALTH. <3

  • Katie Cummings

    Love the post. More than once a year would be great! But don’t feel the need to push out “emotional” posts on some kind of schedule, because that can feel forced, just do what works best for you!

    • I agree 100%! it comes when it hits! haha

  • Incredibly brave, and so inspiring. I am actually adjusting to the same thing. I stand on a start line of a race with the other elites, and I feel like the fat one, but I know that the extra weight makes me stronger, and gives me more power to do what I want to do. This extra weight will give you the longevity you need, so you do not burn out, and so you are healthy. Thank you for sharing your story, I understand what you are saying about 10lbs. To many that is nothing, but when your weight is on the lower end, that is HUGE! Thanks for being brave!

    • Good for you Tina! I bet that muscle helps you out sprint those skinny-minnies! I think you look fabulous!!

  • Kim

    You look awesome and so strong!!! It has taken me years to be comfortable with my size and shape but now I am most of the time!

    • Thanks lady! Your body is amazing, you’re my inspiration as I go through children and learn how to manage life and fitness!

  • Wren

    Thank you so much for sharing! I am in a similar place to where you were last year. I have not embraced the idea of gaining a set amount of weight, but it is something I am considering. I want to be stronger and to gain muscle in my upper body, but do not want to see my lower body get bigger. And I’m starting to understand that these things won’t happen at the same time. I’d love to hear more about how you made this transformation over the past year, what changed in your diet and your workouts? And then how will you burn fat without losing the muscle you worked so hard to gain, while maintaining your energy level? I want to congratulate you on your hard work this past year, both physically and mentally. You look great, and it sounds like you feel great too!

    • Hey Wren! You can do it. There were many times when I fought with myself and my husband kept telling me the same thing, “don’t you want to look like “so-and-so? Well, she has muscles and weighs probably 20 pounds more!” it takes accepting to gain muscle means gain weight. And then I decided it’s weight, if I didn’t like it I could lose it! As for my diet, I stopped being vegan and that played a big roll. I also stopped being so funny about carb intake. For years I was on a low carb diet. I decided if I wanted fuel I needed more carbs. So I embraced more rice, fruit, and potatoes. Nothing crazy but definitely enjoyed it more than years before. Workouts, lots of strength trainign and less cardio!

  • Addison Hudgins

    This is AWESOME. I love how real you are–your blog is definitely one of my favorites because of that.

  • lindsaymwright

    you look amazing!! and SO strong!!

  • Love this so much! Such an honest and inspiring post. Thank you for sharing!

  • Great post ! I have put on muscle too and it is hard to accept the scale going up, but the shape of my body is wonderful. My doctor couldn’t believe that I am going on 45 !

    • Yes your body is awesome Karen! I hope I look like you at 45!

  • WOW! Thank you so much for sharing! Your honesty is truly inspiring! Myself I want to gain some weight and that is one thing i am jumping straight to..:)

    • Thank you Elsie! You can do it! Plus it’s fun to not care about calories!!

  • evelizgarcia

    You are incredible! This post had me slightly emotional (I’m such a girl). You are amazing and inspiring. This was a wonderful post and a good motivational boost for me. Please keep sharing your transformations!

    • Awww, thank you Eveliz. I think you’re incredible and I love our little mini chats each day! One day I hope we actually get to meet!

      • evelizgarcia

        I really hope we can meet one day! I’d love to visit South Carolina.

  • itzyskitchen

    Girl! I saw this title this morning and said NO way…so brave! First off, you look incredible. I think the changes you have made are just awesome. They clearly agree with you :). Again- super brave. My hero!

  • Bonnie Lang

    WELL DONE! All I can say is great job and I’m tipping my kettlebell your way – a brave, honest post with an end result of healthier, stronger, more balanaced body and mind. Way to go, friend!

  • BarrAndTable

    I love this post so much and I love that you’re always so willing to put yourself out there. It’s so inspiring and I look up to you so much. You look amazing and strong.

    I’m with you in that I’ve put on some weight over the past year or so.. though it was more so that it was post-wedding and cross-country moving weight than focusing on strength haha. That said, one of my goals is to listen to my body more and, in that process, lean out a bit. I’ve started taking some barre, TRX, and yoga in the past couple of weeks and I think my body is really responding well! I’m looking forward to more of your follow up posts! xoxo

    • You’re the best! Yes, listen to your body and with your training job taking off you’ll find what works best for YOU in no time!!

  • Katarzyna Fiszer

    Oh my! Thank you so much for sharing! I guess I
    needed for someone else to admit that having a little extra weight is not a bad
    thing. Or that it doesn’t mean that I’m a failure… I’m bulimic and every look
    in the mirror is hard for me. I’m 5’6 ft. and last year I was 124 pounds. I was
    really skinny for my frame. Actually I was in the underweight category. After
    having nails and hair problems (chipped nails, weak hair) and not having a
    period for over 5 months I decided that my health is more important than my
    looks. In the meantime I went for a long (3 weeks) trekking. After I got back I
    felt so tried. I knew I need to regenerate. I started eating. A lot. And maybe
    not the healthiest foods in the world, but it was a start. And I think I went a
    little too far, because half my clothes don’t fit me anymore. I gained nearly
    20 pounds. But I feel so good! I still have my bulimic problems and avoid
    looking in the mirror when I can. But I feel so heathy! I don’t feel cold
    anymore, I have my boobs back (wink, wink) and my period. My skin, my nails and
    hair are bright and strong. And I got myself thinking – why do we have to live
    in a culture that makes us hurt ourselves? It’s not fair when being at a heathy
    weight makes you feel revolting and ugly just because you can’t squeeze into a
    size 6. Like I said… not fair.

    • Thank you so much for opening up! I am so happy that you’re finding a healthy balance in life. Your’e right its not fair but you seem so strong and able to conquer all! I had my first period not long ago too and it was like a party!! haha. the little things most people don’t think about, we do. I am very proud of you! Where did you go trekking?

      • Katarzyna Fiszer

        We took The Main Beskid Trail in Beskidy Mountains (Poland). They are a part of Carpathians in Eastern Europe. We started in Bieszczady Mountains and walked about 400 km through several mountain chains. We ended it up with two days in High Tatras. These maybe are not the highest mountains in the world, but I love them. So beautiful and peaceful. We hiked for about 8 hours every day (nett). It is truly liberating
        experience just to walk towards the horizon. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Beskids

  • Katherine Edgecumbe

    Thank you so much. Champagne and chocolate and living/loving life are important! Health is multi faceted and I think your mission is fantastic. As someone struggling to accept my training, my body, and my desire for a cocktail on Fridays, your post made me feel less alone. I only wish you guys were in CA! And tell Dan thank you for advocating for true health.

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  • Christine Gebler

    This is incredible. Thanks for sharing! I have recently gained some weight, but it definitely was needed. I repeatedly tell myself that I needed it, but it still is hard to adjust to knowing that I am “bigger” now.

  • You ROCK and that is all…Absolutely love this post! XOXO

  • Becks

    Oh my goodness. You look AWESOME!

  • LOVE this post! Thank you so much! I have also put on weight since decreasing miles and increasing calories back to a “normal” level. I know I am doing the right thing for my body, but it is hard to get past those negative thoughts about weight gain.

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  • Rob

    10 pounds heavier….looks amazing! Now, if I could only commit to ten pounds lighter….

  • Jr

    I just found your blog and promptly proceeded to read your entire archives! Wonderful content. This post resonated with me in particular, as we are the exact same height and weight AND, more importantly, at least from what I can tell, the same build. My question is what was the time span over which you gained the ten pounds (bold question, which I hope you’ll answer, but understood if you don’t want to!)? I had a purposeful goal of gaining around ten pounds, too, but I’m afraid I went a bit whole hog with it and gained the weight extremely quickly (~3.5 weeks, so the fact that not all weight gain is muscle gain is underscored in my case, and even less of my gain is muscle than a slow/lean gain would be….) I add that my weighing has been done at the same time of day, under the same circumstances, controlled for bloat or dehydration or bowel business, etc. I am reporting a ten pound nonfluctuating gain after a 3.5 week period. Thank you so much!

    • Thanks for stopping by! I am glad you found me! It took me about 7 months to gain a solid 10 and keep it on. It was more of a mental game, I had to come to terms with the idea of the 10. I would gain weight and then lose some, then gain some and lose some. Not all of mine is muscle either, it’s impossible for JUST muscular gains unfortunately but with the right workouts and nutrition you can def get the results you want!

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