The Naked Truth: My Body 10 Pounds Heavier
I’m not sure if I’ve ever shared the picture below.
I found it recently in a scrapbook. Yes, that’s me on the left. And I was just about 15 pounds heavier than I am at this very moment… but what I difference in the kind of weight then versus what I am carrying now.
I’ve had this post written in my head for weeks. The words have been trapped between my ears, trying to get out but unable.
You see, as a personal trainer I have an image to uphold. People expect their trainer to look as if they fell from the pages of Shape Magazine. Not only is it my job to motivate clients and you guys with awesome workouts, but by showing that my workouts work.
So yes, while I knew I wanted to write this post, I let it simmer in my head to decide exactly how I wanted to go about it and when the time was right. Plus, it’s a delicate subject, one that deserves to be written with finesse to not offend anyone.
The time couldn’t be any more perfect that at this moment. Everyone is scurrying around to up the antics of their workouts, aiming to beat the holiday bulge and kick off the year at them best version of themselves.
Plus, it was exactly a year ago when I was presented with the challenge to gain weight. Yup, while most people were running around (literally) trying to lose weight, I was slowing down and trying to put the weight on to become the best version of myself.
The Perfect Body
Clearly, I don’t have the perfect body. If you thought I was going to say I did, sorry to disappoint. But I will say this… I am guilty of sharing pictures that present me in a way to have a great body.
Right after a workout, when my arms of swollen. When Dan catches my body in just the right angle. Or when I just happen to get lucky snapping my own picture. The lighting, shadows, angle… everything is working in my favor.
That’s not a normal occurrence, and on many occasions, pictures get taken and forgotten about. Why would I want to share something that isn’t awesome?
I’m human after all. And I’m still adjusting to my new body.
I find myself comparing my body to other girls in the gym just like everyone else. Heck, I compare myself to clients too, wondering if they can out perform me. Remember that competitive drive?
Anyways… this is normal. If you’re a human you’re going to find yourself trying to present yourself in a way that is better than the actual package.
But, today, I don’t want to do that. I want to present the truth and nothing but the truth.
The Naked Truth
Why am I doing this?
For one, because it has taken a long time to be comfortable with my body.
The 10 pound challenge was a huge mental test. Anyone can gain 10 pounds, but to be comfortable with it… that’s the hard part.
There were many days/weeks/months when I struggled with this process, I wanted to get my weekly milage over 30 (which it hasn’t been in over 12 months) and I wanted to go back to a vegan diet because those were the factors that led me to get to my slimmest ever… 108 pounds (I was here for a very short time) and then maintain what I thought was my “healthy weight’ of 113 pounds.
And I would lie if I said I didn’t still struggle.
Out of all the questions I receive, it’s this topic that pops up the most frequently.
Women asking if I followed through, how I felt, and how I did it because they too were given the challenge.
So here it is…
Here’s my body at 10 pounds heavier.
10 More Pounds
No, 10 pounds isn’t a lot. But when you kick off the challenge at 113 pounds and bring that up to 123 pounds… that is quite a difference. Like going from 29 to 30 years old, going from the teens to the 20s… it was tough. I won’t lie.
This is just my situation, and trust me I realize that 123 pounds if a very healthy and even low weight for someone my size (I’m 5’5).
I thought since I have received so many questions on the topic, I would cover a few things that I have learned and a few ways my body has changed.
- I was underweight. At the time, I was proud of my low weight. I would smile each time I stepped on the scale. Things are different. I can still fit into all of my clothes, but they fit me the way clothes are suppose to fit. I fill places out that shouldn’t have been empty. And I can’t help but wonder, if I can wear the same size, how must I have looked?
- Energy and more energy! If you read LiftingRevolution in 2013, you may have recalled me complaining about low energy and just feeling off. I was anemic and overall unhealthy. Looking back, I think that was all due to the fact I was too frail and malnourished for all the training I was doing. 2014 was filled with energy and I was able to accomplish so much yet with less training that in previous years. It was a powerful year for sure.
- Muscles. Of course I saw the shape of my body change. Strength was something I never had a big problem obtaining, but the muscles to reflect that strength was. With the extra calories, and the lower mileage for the first time ever, my body was actually given the opportunity to build. For the first time, I look at pictures and go “wow! Look at my guns!” I still have room for more growth, but it’s been fun.
- Renaissance woman. When I was lighter, I was faster. I was able to run and run and run. But that was about it. My strength, while there, wasn’t improving quickly. And I felt that aside from running, I really wasn’t excelling at anything. Now, I feel I have the body to accomplish a ton. Kettlebells have helped with that too. Trail running, obstacles, hills, weight lifting… everything is going great!
- Things get softer. Whoever says that you can build 100% muscle without adding fat is a liar. It takes calories to build muscle, and the process isn’t perfect. 100% of those calories can’t be converted to muscle, some will be added to fat. So, yes, my boobs have gotten a bit bigger, my waist a bit thicker, and my thighs… oh my thighs.
So I know what you might be thinking? Am I happy?
At this particular moment, I am not trying to be on the cover of Shape Magazine. Instead of showing how to get the ultimate six pack, I want my mission in life to show women how to have a healthy, fit body that allows room for champagne and chocolate cake. I’m not giving those things up anytime soon.
If it were up to Dan, he would challenge me to gain another 10 pounds. That’s not going to happen. I am content with my shape right now and if I do gain more weight I will have to buy new clothes. No thanks.
I am however, ready to start burning off some of this fat so I can get a full idea of the muscle that I have added. That’s the goal for the next few months. To get my body in shape for the ultimate adventures we have planned. Which are big! <— I promise, I’ll share them soon!
I want to be the best athlete I can be this year and that means burning off some of this extra fat and continue pushing my muscles to increase strength, stamina, and power.
And that’s where we are.
If you like these posts and want me to continue to share my personal goals and transformations let me know and I will do it more often than 1x per year. I’m an open book… clearly.
Thanks for supporting me last year and for your interest. If you have been given the same challenge, embrace it and enjoy the ability to eat a bit more than normal!