Last week I received a small, gray package in the mail.
My new bathing suit from Victoria’s Secret… possibly the one package all women both love and hate at the same time.
Dan always comments on my lack of style. So being the amazing wife I am, I let him pick it out.
Which of course made me nervous to try it on. After all, my husband had picked out the suit and he had seen it on this gorgeous Angel!
(Quick side note… does anyone else see the terrible photoshop job on her arms and torso?)
Talk About Pressure
Would I model the suit as well as she did?
Would he look at it on me and be disappointed?
I know… I know…
Self Criticism At It’s Finest
But we all want to look sexy for our spouse.
I am not one of those wives that will stop trying to look good for my husband. Sure he loves me for me, but I also want him to be impressed with my body. I want him to see me and say “wow, how did I get that!?”
And I know he’s the same way.
And yes, I do check my husband out, even after 9 years! He’s a hottie.
When I walked in the door with the aqua and silver suit, I snuck off to the bedroom to try it on. After probably a few too many quarter turns in the mirror, I walked into his office.
His face said it all and even before he said “Wow”, I knew that in his eyes I looked perfect.
At that moment, I felt like the Angel in the magazine.
Dan then asked me…
“How do you feel in it?”
“Good, I think I like it! But can you see my cellulite? I mean, there is minimum butt coverage going on.”
Boys And Cellulite
And with that question, I learned an eye-opening lesson.
Dan reiterated something he has said a million times…
“Wow, it must suck to be a girl.
Taylor, don’t you know men don’t see cellulite? I see a hot ass and amazing legs.”
Is it true? Men don’t see all the imperfections that women do?
So what is it that men see or want to see when looking at a woman in an itty-bitty bathing suit?
They want to see someone that owns her body and her suit. Not someone that keeps pulling at her bottoms to ensure her bottom is in fact covered.
They want to see a woman with her shoulders pulled back, head held high and a walk that says…
“Yes, I might have cellulite but so at least do 90% of other women, so what’s the big deal!”
Who Are We Really Trying To Impress?
If men don’t care about a few natural dimples, perhaps it’s time we own up to who we’re really trying to impress.
Here’s the truth…
Are you ready for it?
I can’t believe I just accepted this the other day.
Women are the ones that will notice cellulite.
Women are the ones that will look and think (and sometimes say), “Why is she wearing that?”
Women are the worst critics of themselves and of each other.
And of course we do, we’re force fed images of perfection every single day.
Magazines criticize women all the time… Sections like “Who Wore It Best?” and shows likes Fashion Police validate that it’s okay for us check one another out and then give a score.
You don’t see men doing this to one another.
I can say with 100% confidence that I have never seen Dan look at a man and make a comment about an outfit or the way he looked.
And it kills me.
Stop Trying To Impress Me
The first step of recovery is recognizing and accepting a problem.
Me trying to impress you is a problem. And vice versa.
From there, it’s about turning off the natural “mean” tendencies that have been drilled in our heads:
- “Girls are mean.”
- “Girls are catty.”
- “Girls are critical.”
- “Girls are two-faced.”
We’ve heard them all since we were 13 years old. But we can change.
Each morning, while getting ready tell yourself…
- “You love women.”
- “You love you.“
- “You see only the good in people.”
And then take action…
- Give at least 1 compliment to someone every day. Try to make it someone different.
- Dress for yourself, push those thoughts of your head wondering what others will think.
- Take yourself out of the criticism circle… don’t feed the monster! Avoid magazines/shows that promote such negative activities.
A few weeks ago, I posted up the “Suit Yourself” challenge. I am going to mention it one more time because I feel it’s such a great #hashtag event for women.
Let’s bond together and show one another that we do love one another.
Being a woman is hard, being a woman around other women should not be so tough.
A ton of you said you would join me in the #SuitYourself challenge, have you done it yet?
Have you gotten a new swim suit for the year? Where from?