This Just In: Husbands Don’t See Cellulite

by TaylorR

Last week I received a small, gray package in the mail.

My new bathing suit from Victoria’s Secret… possibly the one package all women both love and hate at the same time.

Dan always comments on my lack of style. So being the amazing wife I am, I let him pick it out.

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Which of course made me nervous to try it on. After all, my husband had picked out the suit and he had seen it on this gorgeous Angel!

(Quick side note… does anyone else see the terrible photoshop job on her arms and torso?)

Talk About Pressure

Would I model the suit as well as she did?

Would he look at it on me and be disappointed?

I know… I know…

Self Criticism At It’s Finest

But we all want to look sexy for our spouse.

I am not one of those wives that will stop trying to look good for my husband. Sure he loves me for me, but I also want him to be impressed with my body. I want him to see me and say “wow, how did I get that!?”

And I know he’s the same way.

And yes, I do check my husband out, even after 9 years! He’s a hottie.

When I walked in the door with the aqua and silver suit, I snuck off to the bedroom to try it on. After probably a few too many quarter turns in the mirror, I walked into his office.

newsuit

“Well?”

His face said it all and even before he said “Wow”, I knew that in his eyes I looked perfect.

At that moment, I felt like the Angel in the magazine.

Dan then asked me…

“How do you feel in it?”

“Good, I think I like it! But can you see my cellulite? I mean, there is minimum butt coverage going on.”

Boys And Cellulite

And with that question, I learned an eye-opening lesson.

Dan reiterated something he has said a million times…

“Wow, it must suck to be a girl.

Taylor, don’t you know men don’t see cellulite? I see a hot ass and amazing legs.”

Is it true? Men don’t see all the imperfections that women do?

So what is it that men see or want to see when looking at a woman in an itty-bitty bathing suit?

Confidence.

They want to see someone that owns her body and her suit. Not someone that keeps pulling at her bottoms to ensure her bottom is in fact covered.

They want to see a woman with her shoulders pulled back, head held high and a walk that says…

“Yes, I might have cellulite but so at least do 90% of other women, so what’s the big deal!”

Who Are We Really Trying To Impress?

If men don’t care about a few natural dimples, perhaps it’s time we own up to who we’re really trying to impress.

Here’s the truth…

Are you ready for it?

I can’t believe I just accepted this the other day.

When out in public, we don’t worry about impressing men as much as we are worried about impressing women.

Yes, women.

Women are the ones that will notice cellulite.

Women are the ones that will look and think (and sometimes say), “Why is she wearing that?”

Women are the worst critics of themselves and of each other.

Yes?

And of course we do, we’re force fed images of perfection every single day.

Magazines criticize women all the time… Sections like “Who Wore It Best?” and shows likes Fashion Police validate that it’s okay for us check one another out and then give a score.

Us Weekly - May 2 2011 -cheryl Marley

Source

You don’t see men doing this to one another.

I can say with 100% confidence that I have never seen Dan look at a man and make a comment about an outfit or the way he looked.

And it kills me.

Stop Trying To Impress Me

The first step of recovery is recognizing and accepting a problem.

Me trying to impress you is a problem. And vice versa.

From there, it’s about turning off the natural “mean” tendencies that have been drilled in our heads:

  • “Girls are mean.”
  • “Girls are catty.”
  • “Girls are critical.”
  • “Girls are two-faced.”

We’ve heard them all since we were 13 years old. But we can change.

Each morning, while getting ready tell yourself…

  1. “You love women.”
  2. “You love you.“
  3. “You see only the good in people.”

And then take action…

  1. Give at least 1 compliment to someone every day. Try to make it someone different.
  2. Dress for yourself, push those thoughts of your head wondering what others will think.
  3. Take yourself out of the criticism circle… don’t feed the monster! Avoid magazines/shows that promote such negative activities.

#SuitYourself

me-bathingsuit2

A few weeks ago, I posted up the “Suit Yourself” challenge. I am going to mention it one more time because I feel it’s such a great #hashtag event for women.

Let’s bond together and show one another that we do love one another.

Being a woman is hard, being a woman around other women should not be so tough.

A ton of you said you would join me in the #SuitYourself challenge, have you done it yet?

Let’s chat…
Have you gotten a new swim suit for the year? Where from?

 

{ 39 comments… read them below or add one }

Carla June 9, 2014 at 7:47 am

AMEN.
we women are far harder ourselves and each other.

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TaylorR June 9, 2014 at 2:31 pm

Yes we are!

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Abi@AbsofSteel June 9, 2014 at 7:55 am

All right, I finally sucked it up and did the suit yourself challenge. Thanks for the friendly little push ;) I love the idea of supporting other women, it really makes me sad when women bring each other down. We don’t have time for that attitude anymore!

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TaylorR June 9, 2014 at 2:31 pm

:) we all need a push! Haha, I didn’t want to be the only one hanging out in my bathin’ suit!

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Dan June 9, 2014 at 8:07 am

I have to say that Photoshop job on her torso is terrible. The more you look at it, the more you wonder how that picture got published.

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TaylorR June 9, 2014 at 2:32 pm

I thought the same thing. It seems it was so fast to be edited they didn’t care. It’s bad.

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Mona June 9, 2014 at 8:44 am

Great post, Taylor – totally spot on!
And you look amazing in the bikini!

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TaylorR June 9, 2014 at 2:32 pm

Thank you Mona!

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Sheena June 9, 2014 at 9:07 am

You’re so right, my boyfriend loves my body but it’s not him that judges me at the beach.

I haven’t done the #Suityourself picture yet, we were at the beach on the weekend but we had no cameras, I’m afraid to break my cell again so I keep it away from all potential harm, hahaha! This week I will get on it though :D

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TaylorR June 9, 2014 at 2:33 pm

I don’t blame you, I don’t bring electronics to the beach either out of fear of ruining it. That’s why I always go to my parents’!

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Amy Lauren June 9, 2014 at 9:38 am

That model has one deformed, photoshopped arm. Craziness.

Both suits look great on you!! You wear the silver suit better than the model because you look like a woman who works out, eats, and has a great fun life and not a bad photoshop job. I haven’t taken a picture yet but I’ve worn my swimsuit quite often- honestly it’s kinda awkward to ask a random person to take a picture. It’s funny when your orthopedist dr comments that you are definitely getting the required Vitamin D from the sun ;).

Women are definitely more critical than men! Like Dan, I think my husband would be totally fine with me wearing anything or not wearing anything and probably wouldn’t even notice an extra dimple in my thigh or something. They’re men- they go days without noticing dirt in the car or stains on something, etc, so I guess body things are like that too. Now, some girls are freakin’ catty- and you know, I think a lot of times body shaming and jealousy is what goes into that, when women focus on others rather than just trying to be the best version of themselves.

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TaylorR June 9, 2014 at 2:34 pm

I think that would be hilarious to ask someone to snap a pic at the pool!

Thanks lady, hope to see you back at the track soon!

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Amy Lauren June 10, 2014 at 11:39 am

Yeah, I wanna be back! I have to take a few more weeks off, then I get to start doing some walk/run for like 2 weeks and build into running again. Right now I am doing BodyPump, Spin, Yoga, and Elliptical… and volunteering at races… so I am busy and still active.

When I am able to run again I plan to come out to the track to do some of it, even if I have to run steady state or do run/walk… so I can still cheer you on if you’re doing speedwork.

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Adrienne June 9, 2014 at 9:44 am

Dan picked out a great suit! (and you look gorgeous!)

I know how you feel– Trying on suits is the worst! I’m still not loving how I look in mine, but I try to work on the mental/confidence side of things when I can. It’s tough!

Great post. Thanks for sharing.

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TaylorR June 9, 2014 at 2:34 pm

Thank you! I bet you look amazing! ;)

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Ali @ Hit the Ground Running June 9, 2014 at 9:47 am

I love this post! I fall into the comparison trap so often, and what I’ve found is that if I make an effort to be more accepting of other women’s bodies, I become more accepting of my own! I just spent a week at the beach, and usually that means I’m in a cover-up the entire time. But this year I decided to leave the t-shirt in the condo and just enjoy the sun. No one criticized how I looked or stared rudely or anything…of course they didn’t! And as I spent the week thinking positive thoughts about other women in their bathing suits, my own body-positivity expanded. It was a really great experience :)

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Sheena June 9, 2014 at 12:16 pm

Oh man you’re so right!

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TaylorR June 9, 2014 at 2:35 pm

What a great comment, thank you Ali! You’re so right, when we start being kind to others we love ourselves more too.

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Erin @ Girl Gone Veggie June 9, 2014 at 10:09 am

I love this post! And I love how your and your husband are with one another!

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TaylorR June 9, 2014 at 2:35 pm

haha thanks Erin! We are very honest with each other that’s for sure!

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Stephanie @ Whole Health Dork June 9, 2014 at 12:49 pm

Love this post! It’s so true–we are our own worst critics. My husband tells me all the time all he notices is the good stuff. So why can’t I just accept that?
And yes, the Photoshopping in that picture is horrendous. Not even human-like!

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TaylorR June 9, 2014 at 2:36 pm

Exactly! I would love to see what my husband sees! I can’t believe the picture even made it to the printer. Awful.

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Rebecca June 9, 2014 at 12:49 pm

Girl, you look amazing! Rock it!

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TaylorR June 9, 2014 at 2:36 pm

Thanks!!

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Jen June 9, 2014 at 2:02 pm

such a great post and you are spot on! rock that suit, girl. you look awesome.

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TaylorR June 9, 2014 at 2:36 pm

Haha, thanks Jen!

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Christine @ Love, Life, Surf June 9, 2014 at 4:18 pm

Oh I love this and love you!! I was just thinking about this this morning as I was noting and criticizing the cellulite in the mirror. And again as I’m getting ready to head to my HS reunion and worrying about what I’m going to wear and how I’m going to look. Women are so much harder on ourselves than anyone else. It’s crazy.

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TaylorR June 10, 2014 at 9:40 am

Muah! ;) You’re going to look hot at your reunion!

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Kim June 9, 2014 at 6:48 pm

No new suits this year (I have lots:) – we aren’t taking a trip so I figure I can just make do with the ones I already have.
And, yes, of course I have cellulite – part of why I like to have a tan!!!
You look amazing!

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TaylorR June 10, 2014 at 9:39 am

Being tan is always the best! I’m working on that part!

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lindsay June 10, 2014 at 7:32 am

Dan is right, you look hot! and they see that, not anything else. Oh i wish we thought like men sometimes

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TaylorR June 10, 2014 at 9:38 am

Why thank you! You’re not so bad yourself ;)

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Jess June 10, 2014 at 12:38 pm

Brilliant post! So true! Women are so hard on themselves and each other!

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purelytwins June 13, 2014 at 3:25 pm

Girl you are amazing!! You are beautiful!! And we LOVE this post!!! A great reminder to embrace our bodies :)

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TaylorR June 14, 2014 at 9:16 am

Thank you! Y’all are quite amazing too!

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Casey @ Casey the College Celiac June 15, 2014 at 1:16 pm

I LOVED this post (I hopped on over to your website from purely twins) because it is so true! We are our own worst enemies and it’s so sad that, as women, we put each other down instead of joining together to rule the world (Beyonce style, of course). Good for you about the swimsuit – and you rock it! Great color on you! Self love isn’t easy, but this article reminded me how important it really is! :)

http://caseythecollegeceliac.blogspot.com/2014/04/self-love-with-celiac.html

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TaylorR June 15, 2014 at 6:21 pm

Love it! Let’s go Beyonce!

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kat June 15, 2014 at 5:03 pm

Love this post, photoshop has definitely warped many minds and its criminal. Thank you for this insight, you are so right! and look amazing in the suit!

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TaylorR June 15, 2014 at 6:20 pm

Thanks Kat! Glad you enjoyed it and thanks for the kind words :)

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