Top 10 Thursday: 10 Secrets Road Runners Don’t Want Me To Share

by TaylorR

Happy Thursday! I hope that the week is passing smoothly. So far so good on this end. I will say that I am ready for next week in terms of my fitness. While I know my body is loving this “cool down” week, I am ready to rev up the intensity and hit the gym hard! I’ve got my eye on some weights! 

But that will have to wait.  While I am waiting I might as well make the most out of the time. Which means sharing with you some dirty little secrets.

Curious?

9 out of 10 times, after long runs, I walk in and have some sort of story/event to tell Dan. Sometimes they are embarrassing sometimes just things I want to share (and he doesn’t necessarily want to know). Last time I did this, he looked at me and said… Why don’t you share these on the blog!?

“Because… they can be embarrassing!”

I responded back. To which he added, that yes, they are, but all runners can relate and everyone that wants to run should know. And if you are neither then you still might get a chuckle.

So without further ado, I present:

What Happens On The Road, Stays On The Road:
10 Secrets Road Runners Don’t Want Me To Share

Now how is that for a Top Ten Thursday title?

Good-bye constipation. 

TMI? In college I had a friend that ran all the time. I remember her telling me of an incident that occurred one time… she started her run and it jostled her belly to the point she was about to having an “emergency”. With no public place in site, she “went” behind a bush.

I was disgusted and didn’t understand the whole runner-mergency thing… until I started running. It jostles your intestines A LOT. This is why I NEVER drink coffee before a run and I wake up about an hour before hitting the road in an effort to clean things out before hand.

BUT, sometimes my body just doesn’t cooperate. All runners have been there and can relate. On those mornings, I make sure to have a route that has a few options such as: grocery stores, Starbucks and even porty potties.

I have not had this happen to the severity of my friend, but I have had to stop a run short to high tail it home.

Source

They aren’t going as far. 

When I am giving a run everything I have and then suddenly see some random runner swish past me, my first thought…

“Oh, they must not be running as far as I am.”

Makes sense right… they aren’t running as far so they clearly can run faster. If they were going my distance, they would be running my pace or slower. Right? Okay, it helps me feel better. If you run, you know you’ve thought this too.

Your yard is my best friend. 

There is nothing as satisfying as finding a yard that has sprinklers on. I’ve been known to run into yards, trample nice grass and jump through strangers’ sprinklers a time or two. When your hot, you’ll do anything. Luckily, no one has rushed our their doors with a broom stick… yet.

Runners LOVE homeowners that water their lawns during the summer.

folly beach race

Runners don’t like you either.

I know that people driving get frustrated when they see a runner or a biker on the road and have to slow down to get around them. Or if they have to stop so that a runner can cross the road.

You know what, we don’t like cars either. And when a car doesn’t stop, our thoughts? Something along the lines of:

“Punk, I have the right of way!” (Punk is not the word that is most commonly used).

My friends often make fun of me when I run because I am the most aggressive runner. I very rarely stop at stop signs, and just assume that cars will stop for me. That’s how is should go, after all stopping for them would slow our times down and mess our mile splits up. Right?

Runners and bikers aren’t friends.

So I personally do not have an issue with bikers, most of the time. However, it’s an unspoken law that runners and bikers don’t see eye to eye on each others’ sports. Unless you’re a triathlete of course.

Otherwise, bikers don’t get how runners get pleasure out of running, and get tired of going around us on paths. Runners get annoyed hearing bikers shout out “LEFT LEFT” while them zoom past clearly okay with the thought of just running you over if you god forbid don’t move “LEFT”.

Saw this and couldn’t resist.

Poofs happen. 

Okay, another TMI but still oh so true. This is along the lines of secret #1… runners can’t escape having some extra gas issues from time to time on the road. It happens, it’s natural and just keep moving. There really is no point in trying to squeeze it in, your running steps will make it inevitable.

This is really only an issue for treadmill running. On the road no one will hear/smell or know your “poofing” along. But the treadmill can be a different story. Make sure to avoid gassy foods like beans, broccoli, cabbage, sugar-free foods, whey protein, etc.

Just 6 miles.

running just miles

When people ask runners how far they went that morning often the reply is something along the lines of “Oh just 6 miles.”

Just? Yea, it’s there for an ego boost.

Of course secretly, we want you to go, wow! That’s great. We have egos and we like to have them stroked. I wish I could say I was different, but it would just be a lie.

The grossest feet ever.

I wish someone had warned me about this one before I started training for my first half marathon. My toes are no longer cute and manicured.
The tips are callused, I am missing one toe nail, and the pads of my feet are not as soft as they used to be. One of my poor toes has a blood blister from my last race that won’t heal up.

Yup, sexy feet.

Right now, I am fine with them. But come summer, I guess I’ll paint a toe nail on and purchase the ped-egg?

running for cookies

Food Food Food

On long run days, runners think about what food their run will justify splurging on. It helps the miles to pass by focusing on something as delicious as a giant Whole Foods EVERYTHING vegan cookie, or a fancy coffee and bagel from Starbucks, or the thought of going home to make a dark chocolate lava cake.

Food makes everything better. And after a long run, nothing is out of the question. Sometimes I never actually indulge in my food fantasies but it does help the run to go faster.

running bonds

Unspoken bonds.

In college I had my sorority. Now I have my fellow fitness friends and runners. There is an unspoken bond between runners. When your legs are heavy and you are thinking about giving up, suddenly out of no where a runner is passing by giving words of encouragement.

Even if it’s not during a race. I love my Saturday morning runs because I am greeted with so many fellow athletes on the road. Suddenly a 65 year old women running towards me becomes a friend… all with just a 2 second acknowledgement with a wave. It’s comforting and offers a feeling of camaraderie that we all desire.

I don’t feel that same love when I am lifting weights (even though I LOVE to lift weights). It doesn’t matter if you run 1/2 mile or 10 miles, we are all out on the roads for the same reasons. And it’s pretty cool.

And on that positive note, the end has come.

What do you think? 

Do you have any secrets about running? 

Tomorrow I am going out of town to Charlotte for my friend’s bachelorette party! I am super excited and in desperate need of a mini vaca! I can’t wait to share how it goes. If you have any recommendations for things in Charlotte, please share!

I am planning on a run early Saturday morning, so if you’re in the area and want to meet up email me (Taylorryan0406@gmail.com).

 

{ 19 comments… read them below or add one }

Erica January 31, 2013 at 8:44 am

This post made me pee a little- its all SO true! Whenever I see someone going super fast I totally think…they’re probably doing a mile. hahahah. I love your blog! And girl- you have amazeball legs :)

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TaylorR January 31, 2013 at 8:55 am

hahaha, Thanks Erica! I either think they are just doing a mile, or “Oh, they are just starting their run”. haha.

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RunEatRepeat January 31, 2013 at 10:19 am

I have no secrets, but maybe I should keep some ;)

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TaylorR January 31, 2013 at 10:44 am

Clearly I don’t either! lol.

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Heather January 31, 2013 at 11:21 am

My shorts ride up when I run and it looks like I’m grabbing my hooha every five seconds..

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TaylorR January 31, 2013 at 11:32 am

Thats a good one. Been there done that too!

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Sarah Johnson January 31, 2013 at 12:10 pm

I used to run, but haven’t done it in quite a while. Now my son, who is almost 6, really wants to start running in races. I would love some advice about how to go about finding races for him to run in, and helping me get back up to speed so I can run them with him.

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TaylorR January 31, 2013 at 12:17 pm

That is great Sarah. A lot of the bigger races normally have “kids” events the day before the big race. For example, our big 10K race in Charleston (cooper river bridge run) has a kids 5K the day before. And our marathon offers a kids’ 1-mile run the day before.

Each state is different but I know for us Active.com is a great source to search out events. For you, it’s all about working back up. Start small, just running 2 minutes, walk 2 minutes for 30 total. Work your speed during that time. Then on another day alternate with 3 min running, 2 minutes walking. Couch to 5K has a great program from whatI understand.

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Amy Lauren January 31, 2013 at 4:43 pm

I think we live near each other, I live in Charleston too and I’d run with ya :). I’m always up to meet more runners and bloggers and cool people bc I’ve only been here about 8 months now and I work at home.

I like your little secrets (minus the constipation one, I have crazy digestive issues in general even running 25-30 miles a week). But, you’re super right about the unspoken bond between runners. I don’t know if I can compare it to a sorority because I was never in one, but there’s something about my running friends’ bond that I don’t have with my group fitness friends. There’s also a bond when you coach track or cross country, but also do races and train yourself, so it’s like the kids know you’re not asking them to do something that you’re not already doing (so not true in other sports where the coaches don’t actually play the sport themselves on the side).

And I am so loving that image about running from farts!

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TaylorR January 31, 2013 at 9:36 pm

Love to meet up! I work from home as well (when I am not training) so let me know your schedule and we can get a workout in! I agree, even though I train boot camps, I tell my clients from the start that I would never have them do something that I can’t do myself.

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Annie January 31, 2013 at 5:01 pm

I have had bad things happen to me such as having cars follow me while I’m running…so I cross to the other side of a 4 lane highway and the car passes…..then a minute later, he’s back..only this time on my side of the road again…so once again I cross the 4 lane highway……same thing…. this is why I carry a knife.

I’ve also had chickens and bear run out in front of me.

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TaylorR January 31, 2013 at 9:37 pm

Oh my Annie! Be careful! knife and pepper spray!

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MCM Mama Runs January 31, 2013 at 8:53 pm

All so true! And if you are a mom? You WILL pee yourself on occasion. If you are lucky, it will only be occasionally…

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Amanda @ Run Principessa February 1, 2013 at 7:46 am

Oh gosh, that “just” word intimidated the pants off of me when I was first starting!! And I ALWAYS tell myself I have the right of way. Somehow even when the light is red I can justify that it would still be their fault if they hit me…

That’s the Philly girl coming out in me. ;)

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Alex Bridgeforth (@alexbridgeforth) February 1, 2013 at 10:15 am

Many of those are true. I think another secret is we talk about much too much, like revealing during runs.

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Kelly @ Cupcake Kelly's February 1, 2013 at 10:32 am

I love this. I have never had an emergency bathroom stop, but I have had many times when I have raced home from a road race or practice. I literally sprint to the bathroom and everytime my husband yells “this is not normal”… haha yes hun it is ;)

Also, the poofing thing, I never read anyone doing it so I thought I was alone, hallelujah I am not!

When I was training for my first half this past summer it was unseasonably hot and we used to run past a row of breakfast places, and every once in awhile a waitress or customer would say, I can’t believe they are running in this. I always felt a huge sense of pride and accomplishment!

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TaylorR February 1, 2013 at 6:02 pm

Yay, you are definitely not a lone! And tell your husband, it is 100% normal! My husband is just proud that unlike a lot of women I seem to have “normal” bathroom habits! Its an ongoing joke in our home.

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Katie Parish February 1, 2013 at 11:39 am

I have pretty much near wee’d myself a few times. I think I need to do more of those pelvic floor exercises.

Oh and the fart thing is called ‘crop-dusting’. :)

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TaylorR February 1, 2013 at 6:03 pm

hahaha, yes, crop dusting! Do kegels! They work.

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