Why It’s More Than Okay To Have “Fat Days”

by TaylorR

Being a woman is hard.

Really, really hard.

I can’t tell you how often my husband looks me in the eyes and announces his pride for being a man and not having to deal with the issues that women around him seem to go to war with on a daily basis.

And you know what? I am jealous of him. Not in the Freudian sense…

I don’t have penis envy. I have body envy. Or I should say body confidence envy.

follybeach-may3

I wasn’t going to share this, but I try not to sugar coat things. I am as real as I can be here, so here it is… on Sunday I cried.

I watched a video of myself and cried. I cried wondering how people would react to seeing my body on their computers as I showed off moves that made my imperfections seem to stand out even more. I cried as realized that the 10 pounds I had worked to gain were quite visible.

I cried as my husband looked at me with an expression that can only be described as sadness, shock, and terror all rolled in to one as he tried to figure out why the heck I was crying. Just minutes before hand I had been my jovial, normal self. Until I hit the PLAY button.

After a few good tears, I pulled myself together and started to think about my feelings. Did I have the right to feel those emotions? Was I being crazy? Should I feel guilty or call myself a narcissist because I was so concerned with my body and what others thought? 

Then it hit me…

I’m not alone, I am a woman and if anything I should feel pride in the fact that we all go through those kind of days. I have the right to have my good days and my bad days. And so do you.

The Great Thing About Being A Woman

Happy and Fit Woman

Yes, working on having a positive body image is key to success and happiness, but trying to completely avoid the feelings that come with being a woman… that’s not the same. And it’s impossible. Tell me about someone who feels great about themselves 365 days a year, and I will call BS immediately.

You can still have amazing confidence, yet find yourself crying in a dressing room over a pair of poor fitting jeans.

Having these feelings are just one thing that bonds us together. Men, they don’t have that unspeakable bond we do. People say it’s the handling the bad days together that helps us to connect.

Well… then all of us are as good as sisters since we have all battled feelings of body inadequacies, PMS, and all the other “crazy” issues that come with our “woman card”.

Do men feel that instant bond with other men? I like to think not. I love my husband, but he just doesn’t get it… but you do.

The Purpose Of Fat Days

fat-scale2

Having our “fat days” allows us to appreciate the days when we feel amazing. They also help to motivate us from staying stagnant, and helps to remind us what our goals are!

You know that when I am having a fat day, it isn’t the end of the world. That the light will shine again, and I will wake up one morning, probably even the next, with a new perspective.

Feeling great!

The great thing about being a woman, is that we’re allowed to be emotional. We’re allowed to have those days when we just aren’t in love with the reflection in the mirror and no one judges us for us.

It’s okay to not feel like a million dollars… that is as long as you feel like a million dollars more often than not.

Sure, I don’t feel great about myself all the time, but more days than not, I do. I am proud of what my body can do, proud that it can run miles and miles, proud that it can lift some heavy stuff, proud that it can recover quickly from the stress that I put on it, and more importantly…

More often than not, I am proud of the way I look.

Fat days come, and fat days go.

What Happens If  You Have More Fat Days Than Not? 

Like I said, we are allowed, actually entitled to have fat days. But not every single day.

Fat Days are just a moment in time, not a reflection of your true self. If you find that each morning you wake up feeling down, feeling angry and feeling sad by what you see then it’s time to do something.

I don’t just mean start eating healthy and exercising (those should be a given), but work on getting your mind in the right place.

3 things to help make the fat days less frequent: 

1. Start a journal.

Write down your feelings! Spend just 15 minutes a day getting things off your chest. But make a point to end every single entry with a positive note. Have that positive thought be the final thought so that it’s the one that sticks with you.

2. Tell yourself you’re beautiful.

Seriously! Each morning, wake up and tell yourself how beautiful you are. Follow it up with 3 reasons why you’re beautiful… your eyes, your shoulders, your little toe… whatever. Everyone has gorgeous traits!

3. Dress up a little!

When I was in New York, my mom took me shopping. I found this adorable dress which was a bit pricier than I would normally spend. My mom simply looked at me and asked, “Do you feel pretty?” As I smiled and nodded yes, she took the dress and bought it for me. Yes, clearly my mom is amazing, but she had a great point. Sometimes we just need to put things on our bodies to feel great.

If you are like me and find yourself in workout clothes a lot, make it a goal to put make up on a few more times this week. Or a secret of mine… wear sexy underwear! Your top clothes may not leave you feeling like a queen, but your undies can! :)

Does your significant other think you’re crazy when you have fat days? 

Dan does a great job at making me feel better but he also doesn’t hide the fact that he thinks it’s weird.

 

{ 44 comments… read them below or add one }

Abi@AbsofSteel May 20, 2014 at 6:44 am

I often feel like I’m always 2 steps forward 1 step back with the whole body image thing. Despite eating well and exercising like a beast (or so I’d like to think) I often have moments when I feel like I should be smaller or look better. It’s frustrating because that’s the idea that we as women grow up with, that to be more attractive we have to make ourselves smaller. Love the post, it’s important that ladies are supporting each other in this crazy world.

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TaylorR May 20, 2014 at 11:16 am

It is frustrating but so important for us to see the big picture and try to toss out those thoughts (which is a constant battle). You look amazing!

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Jojo @ RunFastEatLots May 20, 2014 at 7:40 am

If I can do all those pull-ups, I don’t care what I look like! You are amazingly strong, and in more ways than one ;)

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TaylorR May 20, 2014 at 11:15 am

Haha thanks!

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Kalan May 20, 2014 at 10:20 am

I was having one of my bad fat days this weekend and feeling very pathetic and sorry for myself. My fiancee and I were sitting on the couch together and he started tickling me (which I complain about but secretly love)…and after I while I told him to stop because he was ‘just grabbing at my fat’. He stopped and looked at me like I was the craziest person in the world and said “baby that’s your BODY and I love every part of it!”. I wish I could bottle up that look that he gave me when I was feeling so icky and low and remember to try and see myself the way that he sees me!

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TaylorR May 20, 2014 at 11:14 am

I do the same thing to Dan. And he says the same thing… sometimes those guys just know exactly what to say to melt our hearts. They see the best in us!

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Sheena May 20, 2014 at 12:24 pm

I do the exact same thing. And I too wish I could bottle up his love and recycle it for every minute of every day!

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Jeanete May 20, 2014 at 10:47 am

Kalan,

Isn’t it sad when you have someone awesome who loves you for everything you are and you yourself can’t seem to see yourself that way? It’s that way with Corley, he thinks I’m perfect, he tells me everyday how beautiful I am and most of the time how do I respond?? “I’m fat”. I feel bad when I think about it because it had to have a negative effect on your significant other to have their compliments shot down. I try not to do it and instead accept the compliment and love him for being so sweet.

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TaylorR May 20, 2014 at 11:15 am

Corley is the best. We are blessed with some pretty great guys. Dan is the most honest person (sometimes a bit too honest) so when he says my body is perfect, it’s hard not to believe him. Oh those boys!

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Kalan May 20, 2014 at 6:13 pm

I know…it makes me sad and I’m scared for the day that he just gets tired of me being negative and stops telling me nice things! Hopefully we can learn to ‘think like a man’ a little bit more when it comes to appreciating our bodies…

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TaylorR May 20, 2014 at 9:35 pm

He won’t get tired of it… he loves you and will always assure you! We definitely could think like men more often though!

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Ashley May 20, 2014 at 11:06 am

I appreciate your vulnerability!!!! It was especially hard to accept my body – not to mention an additional 30 pounds – during my recovery from an ED. On my off days I remind myself of a quote by my running hero, Lauren Fleshman: “Honor your body, don’t talk sh*t about it.”
My significant “others” are family. My mom and sister keep me in line when I start talking too harshly about myself.
Thanks for the honest post!

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TaylorR May 20, 2014 at 9:37 pm

Thank you Ashley. I appreciate your honesty! What a great quote!

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Julie May 20, 2014 at 11:31 am

yes, I’m really glad you are able to comment on this and offer suggestions as well as validate your feelings. Everyone feels this way and everyone notices more about themselves than others. Have you seen the studies about self-image where women try to select their body weight from a variety of options, and on average, selected bodies that were 10-20 lbs. heavier than their own? I can’t find that study now or I would share the reference, but there are a lot of things out there about poor self-images. I’d love to see some more posts about reasons to exercise or to perform certain exercises beyond looks. How else do they help us?

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TaylorR May 20, 2014 at 9:38 pm

Yes, I think that is a great idea for posts! Thanks!!

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Divya @ Eat. Teach. Blog. May 20, 2014 at 11:34 am

<3 <3 <3 I love this.

As a gal who just started her period today, this was definitely something I needed to read ;)

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TaylorR May 20, 2014 at 12:56 pm

Yes, we can all relate!

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Heather (Where's the Beach) May 20, 2014 at 11:42 am

Oh I love this! I had this right after vacation. I was so mad at myself. I kept looking in the mirror, turning, poking. I didn’t cry, but I wasn’t far from it. But then I stopped myself and had to talk myself down. Almost no one else would even notice for starters. And what the heck did it matter if my abs weren’t visible that day or even the next? I’m not going for a fit comp. I just want to be fit and healthy. But if obsessing over abs disappearing starts to happen, then I’m losing the mental health part of the puzzle.

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TaylorR May 20, 2014 at 12:57 pm

So right, a vacation is about the experience, and when you get home and routine is back all of that doesn’t matter! So right, when we stop obsessing thats when the good stuff happens!

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Sheena May 20, 2014 at 12:28 pm

I have fat days too, I just settle in on the couch with some ice cream and something cheezy on netflix and tell my wonderful boyfriend to bring me beer and poutine. He is so lovely about it, he tells me I’m beautiful and says “Hey let’s go for a walk” when I’m in a funk. I love him and his support to pieces and do my best to reciprocate because even though men don’t have their fat days I think he’s self conscious about things too!

P.S. You should keep blog comments to read when you have your glum days Taylor, cuz you’re smokin hot! I watch your videos and it kicks my butt because I want to be as fit as you!

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TaylorR May 20, 2014 at 12:55 pm

You’re the best Sheena! Why can’t you live in Charleston! haha

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Sheena May 21, 2014 at 4:38 pm

Too darn hot! My people come from Norway and Scotland, I’m pretty sure I’d either bake in the sun and just be a perpetual lobster or completely melt :D

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GiGi Eats Celebrities May 20, 2014 at 12:42 pm

I never really have FAT DAYS – I have bloated days. And LOTS AND LOTS of those!! In fact, I am totally 4-months bloated right now LOL!

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TaylorR May 20, 2014 at 12:54 pm

Haha, love it! Yes, I have bloated days as well!

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Kim May 20, 2014 at 1:09 pm

Funny because I think that even our husbands would agree that it is OK for us to have fat days as long as it’s not every day. I know that when I start to feel down about my body Chris is very supportive but if I go on and on it bugs him (because he thinks I’m beautiful no matter how I feel).

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TaylorR May 20, 2014 at 3:07 pm

Dan just doesn’t get it and he tells me that all the time! He doesn’t get why we don’t see what they see! Husbands can be the best at picking us up though!

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Brittany @ Barr & Table May 20, 2014 at 1:20 pm

Ahh fat days. They’re wonderful, aren’t they? Haha I completely agree that guys just don’t get it. They never put something on and feel like they’re a pillsbury biscuit can about to bust and I totally envy that too.

That said, the last few posts of yours that you’ve been demoing exercises, I’ve found myself thinking that I really want you to come kick my butt so I can get your body! Especially yesterday’s post I was thinking “damn, look how flat her stomach is!” Be proud of the weight you’ve put on because you worked so hard for it and you look incredible!

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TaylorR May 20, 2014 at 3:06 pm

Thank you Brittany! a pillsbury biscuit! That’s the best thing I’ve heard in a long time! Awesome. You’re the best, come visit Charleston!!

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Eveliz May 20, 2014 at 2:07 pm

I cried a little reading this… I think this was meant for me to read. I’ve been very harsh on myself the last couple days. :( And you’re totally right, about everything. I’m glad that I can relate to you.

Every time I watch/workout to one of the videos, I think of how amazing you look and how much I want to look like you (in a non creepy way). I can see a big difference in your body since you’ve ganed the ten pounds and started to focus more on definition. I should have told you this a while ago because I noticed about 2 weeks ago. You are an amazing person and you look incredible (and I’m not saying that to make you feel better). Keep your head up!

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TaylorR May 20, 2014 at 3:06 pm

Let’s make a vow together to be kind to ourselves for the rest of the week! Thank you Eveliz, I can’t put into words how much your comment means to me. I love your “non creepy” disclosure!

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Karen - Fit in France May 20, 2014 at 4:19 pm

When I have fat days I be sure to wear something that makes me feel like a million bucks. All my weight goes to my waist so if I am a bit bloated I wear a dress. It hides the bloat but shows off my sexy legs and arms. Sexy shoes helps too. I also make sure my make up and jewelry are nice, it makes me feel feminine and helps with positive body image !

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TaylorR May 20, 2014 at 9:36 pm

It’s amazing how spending some time on yourself can make you feel so much better!

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Jen May 20, 2014 at 8:43 pm

I LOVE this post. I was having a fat day today. I’ve started weight lifting and I have those days where I can clearly see I’ve gained weight/muscle. I think it’s tough too to see so many skinny women in the media. It’s been super helpful to find strong women. I am super encouraged by this post and inspired by you. I’m jealous of those pull-ups :)

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TaylorR May 20, 2014 at 9:35 pm

Thank you Jen! I am equally inspired by you!

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Amanda May 20, 2014 at 9:32 pm

oh we can all relate to this one for sure! And as I glanced over some of the reoccurring responses it seems that when we share our insecurities or let them slip or say “I’m fat” or something like that to our significant other, they are the first to look shocked and immediately tell us that we are NOT fat or whatever else we said we were. They are the first to try to comfort us and tell us we really ARE beautiful and that our bodies are beautiful. All of this of course is reassuring but the truth is WE are our own worst enemy and critic. People can complement us until the cows come home and we can smile and nod and thank them but the truth is YOU have to believe it which is something that all of us struggle with time to time, sometimes more than others. But it is important to realize that you are not alone and many women share the struggle and one of the best things you can do that I have personally been working hard to try to is NOT compare myself to other people. It always ends badly and there is no sense to it!

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TaylorR May 20, 2014 at 9:34 pm

Exactly! Comparison is a dirty little devil and never turns out good! Great points friend!

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lindsay May 20, 2014 at 9:59 pm

oh friend, i feel ya. Our hormones are no fun! i wish i didn’t “feel” them. But you are right, we need to feel them in order to appreciate God’s gift to us. Our beautiful bodies were made for more than just confidence.
xxoo

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TaylorR May 21, 2014 at 11:28 am

I love that, yes it is a gift from God!

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keri May 20, 2014 at 10:14 pm

Love reading your posts. I can always relate in some way. Appreciate your being real and your sincerity shines.

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TaylorR May 21, 2014 at 11:28 am

Thank you Keri! :)

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Hilary May 23, 2014 at 9:40 am

I am so glad I came across your post! This is so true, those fat days really do make me so blessed on my good days, and as long as I am having way more good days then fat days I know I have the right mind set :)

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TaylorR May 24, 2014 at 12:27 pm

Exactly! Cheers!

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Carla May 24, 2014 at 4:59 am

I think that my husband is use to me having fat days. But it does irritate him when we need to go shopping and I suddenly can’t buy anything in the middle of the trip because I’m “too fat”. Why it happens in the middle of the trip is beyond me but stuff happens.

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TaylorR May 24, 2014 at 12:25 pm

Yes, I can totally relate!

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