Being a woman is hard.
Really, really hard.
I can’t tell you how often my husband looks me in the eyes and announces his pride for being a man and not having to deal with the issues that women around him seem to go to war with on a daily basis.
And you know what? I am jealous of him. Not in the Freudian sense…
I don’t have penis envy. I have body envy. Or I should say body confidence envy.
I wasn’t going to share this, but I try not to sugar coat things. I am as real as I can be here, so here it is… on Sunday I cried.
I watched a video of myself and cried. I cried wondering how people would react to seeing my body on their computers as I showed off moves that made my imperfections seem to stand out even more. I cried as realized that the 10 pounds I had worked to gain were quite visible.
I cried as my husband looked at me with an expression that can only be described as sadness, shock, and terror all rolled in to one as he tried to figure out why the heck I was crying. Just minutes before hand I had been my jovial, normal self. Until I hit the PLAY button.
After a few good tears, I pulled myself together and started to think about my feelings. Did I have the right to feel those emotions? Was I being crazy? Should I feel guilty or call myself a narcissist because I was so concerned with my body and what others thought?
Then it hit me…
I’m not alone, I am a woman and if anything I should feel pride in the fact that we all go through those kind of days. I have the right to have my good days and my bad days. And so do you.
The Great Thing About Being A Woman
Yes, working on having a positive body image is key to success and happiness, but trying to completely avoid the feelings that come with being a woman… that’s not the same. And it’s impossible. Tell me about someone who feels great about themselves 365 days a year, and I will call BS immediately.
You can still have amazing confidence, yet find yourself crying in a dressing room over a pair of poor fitting jeans.
Having these feelings are just one thing that bonds us together. Men, they don’t have that unspeakable bond we do. People say it’s the handling the bad days together that helps us to connect.
Well… then all of us are as good as sisters since we have all battled feelings of body inadequacies, PMS, and all the other “crazy” issues that come with our “woman card”.
Do men feel that instant bond with other men? I like to think not. I love my husband, but he just doesn’t get it… but you do.
The Purpose Of Fat Days
Having our “fat days” allows us to appreciate the days when we feel amazing. They also help to motivate us from staying stagnant, and helps to remind us what our goals are!
You know that when I am having a fat day, it isn’t the end of the world. That the light will shine again, and I will wake up one morning, probably even the next, with a new perspective.
The great thing about being a woman, is that we’re allowed to be emotional. We’re allowed to have those days when we just aren’t in love with the reflection in the mirror and no one judges us for us.
It’s okay to not feel like a million dollars… that is as long as you feel like a million dollars more often than not.
Sure, I don’t feel great about myself all the time, but more days than not, I do. I am proud of what my body can do, proud that it can run miles and miles, proud that it can lift some heavy stuff, proud that it can recover quickly from the stress that I put on it, and more importantly…
Fat days come, and fat days go.
What Happens If You Have More Fat Days Than Not?
Like I said, we are allowed, actually entitled to have fat days. But not every single day.
Fat Days are just a moment in time, not a reflection of your true self. If you find that each morning you wake up feeling down, feeling angry and feeling sad by what you see then it’s time to do something.
I don’t just mean start eating healthy and exercising (those should be a given), but work on getting your mind in the right place.
3 things to help make the fat days less frequent:
1. Start a journal.
Write down your feelings! Spend just 15 minutes a day getting things off your chest. But make a point to end every single entry with a positive note. Have that positive thought be the final thought so that it’s the one that sticks with you.
2. Tell yourself you’re beautiful.
Seriously! Each morning, wake up and tell yourself how beautiful you are. Follow it up with 3 reasons why you’re beautiful… your eyes, your shoulders, your little toe… whatever. Everyone has gorgeous traits!
3. Dress up a little!
When I was in New York, my mom took me shopping. I found this adorable dress which was a bit pricier than I would normally spend. My mom simply looked at me and asked, “Do you feel pretty?” As I smiled and nodded yes, she took the dress and bought it for me. Yes, clearly my mom is amazing, but she had a great point. Sometimes we just need to put things on our bodies to feel great.
If you are like me and find yourself in workout clothes a lot, make it a goal to put make up on a few more times this week. Or a secret of mine… wear sexy underwear! Your top clothes may not leave you feeling like a queen, but your undies can!
Does your significant other think you’re crazy when you have fat days?
Dan does a great job at making me feel better but he also doesn’t hide the fact that he thinks it’s weird.