Your Body: Are You Accepting Or Settling For Your Reflection?

by TaylorR

I’ve always been overweight, I’ll always be overweight…

Settling.

I eat clean, I workout regularly and I’m still not the smallest girl in the room…

That’s acceptance.

I think we often get these two things very confused. Everyone knows that settling isn’t something we strive to do, but acceptance…

Well, it’s acceptable.

We accept what we can’t control yet are able to determine if we should keep going or if we should give up. Either way, the decision is thought out and the best for where we are at the moment.

But settling…

We settle for things we can change, we just don’t want to.

We settle when we don’t want to fight any longer. We settle when we just don’t care any longer.

Or when we think we can’t do better.

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You Can’t Keep “Settled Feelings”… Settled

It’s kinda strange because when you try to settle, nothing actually settles.

You’re left an emotional wreck with subconscious feelings of guilt, embarrassment, and loss of pride.

Why? Because you know you’re capable of more, and others know you are too.

Maybe not at first.

When first settling it can mask itself as acceptance, you can push the feelings way down into the pit of your stomach, you can almost fully convince yourself that you’re not settling, that you’re doing what’s best for you right now.

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But eventually, the feelings begin to flood up and you are made aware of your unhappiness and disappointment.

And you know what?

That’s not always a bad thing.

Sometimes recognizing what’s going on can help to fuel your motivation more than ever before. Creating a new sense of awareness, urgency and drive.

Sometimes, not always, but sometimes…. Settling can push you to unsettle.

Settling Is Easy

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Why am I talking about this today?

Because I don’t want to settle, and I don’t want you to settle for anything in life.

I was at an event last week promoting my gym when a lady came up to me and told me that it wasn’t that she didn’t mind sweating, she didn’t mind being sore…

She just didn’t want to workout. No questions. Period.

Well, okay then.

That’s settling.

Settling for an unhealthy body (she was unhealthy), and afraid. I know the type, I see it all the time… it wasn’t that she did’t want to workout, otherwise why come up to a fitness table just to tell me that?

She was trying to come off (make an excuse for not doing what needs to be done) as her choice to avoid fitness when in reality it was clear she was afraid of it.

Afraid to start something that could change her body, mind, spirit and overall life.

Wow, when it’s put like that, fitness can be scary.

Having Fitness Fear

But not as scary as sitting on your ass for the rest of your life, taking the easy road of settling. Think about how hard that actually is to do nothing.

It’s not easy to continuously make up excuses for yourself.

It’s hard work!

You’re trying to convince your toughest critic, YOU, that you’re in making the right decisions.

Just think… if you’re avoiding certain things like a workout, or cleaning up your diet…

What else are you settling for in life?

Happiness comes to those that never settle.

Am I right?

Types Of Settling

Before we answer the important question of how to avoid settling, let’s quickly talk about the different kinds.

When you know what’s going on, you can recognize it and then move on.

  1. Fearful Settling: Settling because you’re afraid of the outcome or lack of outcome should you try to do something new to move forward.
  2. Lustful Settling: In the moment where things seem too good to be true and you rest on your laurels. This is often temporary settling, when lust wears off and the truth is more apparent.
  3. Poor Confidence Settling: You don’t think you deserve better, you think you’re stuck where you are and that’s just the way life is.
  4. Too Busy Settling: You’ve got so much going in in life that you can’t focus on improving or growing any part of your life. You can’t focus and you feel as if you’re just trying to get through each day without it falling apart. Life is stagnant.

It really doesn’t matter what kind of settling you have fallen victim to (I’ve fallen victim to them all… many times!), what is important is that you’re able to accept the state you’re in.

Acceptance Is The Magic Key

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Something is stagnant today, that doesn’t mean that it can’t liven up tomorrow. Or even in the next hour… minute… second…

When you realize that you’re in a poor state, you’ve accepted the truth.

With acceptance you can then make the decision to:

Accept your state of settling, be happy with it and stay right where you are.

Or…

Accept that you had settled and start making small steps to change.

Acceptance is a conscious choice and one that regardless of the end decision you should feel comfortable with.

Acceptance is also, being present where you are and giving yourself some slack. You are where you are, you know your limitations and you know your goals. Each day is a day to get closer to them without beating yourself up for where you are today.

Does that make sense?

The Path To Get Stronger

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Before I sign off for Motivational Monday, I want to share my current state of acceptance.

I have accepted that I do not have the strength or the definition that I know I am capable of. I have accepted that for the past few months I have “settled” through my up and down efforts.

But for the past 3 weeks, I have been putting in the work. Each week, I reflect over training to decide if I really gave it what I should have in order to work towards a better me.

What exactly does that mean?

Well… Instead of focusing on my overall goal, I’m enjoying focusing on each workout. And knowing that if I just stick to the workouts then I will get to my goals.

Here’s what my workouts looked like last week:

  • Monday: Kettlebell workout
  • Tuesday: Half Marathon Training (7 miles with goal pace intervals)
  • Wednesday: Half Marathon Training (4 miles) – Deadlift Sets at 160 lb – Kettlebell
  • Thursday: Bootcamp Butt Training
  • Friday: Rest
  • Saturday: 6 Miles

It was a tough week.

My muscles were sore… my butt exhausted but I felt great. I felt accomplished, and that is what happens when you get up on settling and start taking action.

You feel good.

You feel awesome.

So let me leave you with this…

Tell me one of your goals you have right now!

 

  • http://abs-of-steel.com Abi@AbsofSteel

    Get stronger! But I am massively impatient about it so my mini goal is to enjoy the process.

  • http://www.thrivepersonalfitness.com/blog Pamela Hernandez

    Words have power. Thank you saying we can love ourselves no matter what but settling for less than we can be isn’t okay.

    • http://www.fitwomensweekly.com TaylorR

      It’s amazing how powerful they can be, isn’t it! Thanks Pamela!

  • Heather

    What about if you don’t want to do either? I know I should accept my body, but at the same time I feel like with all the hard work I put in everyday in the gym and the kitchen that I should look better. I am stronger than I have ever been but I haven’t lost any weight and even though I try to tell myself that the scale doesn’t matter somewhere in the back of my mind I keep telling myself I have to train harder because I’m clearly not doing enough if I still look like this!

    • http://www.fitwomensweekly.com TaylorR

      This breaks my heart heather.I wish I could give something poetic and just the write words but it’s not. All I can say is keep pushing forward, refusing to settle and perhaps accepting the fact that each day is a new day to move forward! You’ll get there! xoxo

  • http://herheartlandsoul.com Erin @ Her Heartland Soul

    I love this! I just wrote a post about goals today. One of my goals is to get a booty! :D

    • http://www.fitwomensweekly.com TaylorR

      Love it! I knew we were alike! :)

  • http://www.TheTinyTerror.com Amy Lauren

    One of my goals is to PR a 5K. I have 2 races picked out for the Fall where I will try to do this (both flat and fast races… i.e., not the connector haha). My PR is 22:05 and I *know* I am capable of better even just based on my track workout last week.

    And yeah- I’ve accepted that I will never be one of the local elites or the fastest ladies in Charleston or have the proportion of fast-twitch muscles that you do ;). But, I don’t want to *settle* either- I may not ever be below 20 minutes but maybe I can get close, you know?

    I think what that lady said at that event is quite sad. Yes, she is settling, but the sad thing is just not opening her mind to working out, a lot of times you can get a great workout through a variety of activities and she probably hasn’t thought of that and finding the right one. Like Zumba. It’s not for me, but I know some people and that is the only thing they do- because it doesn’t “feel” like a workout to them. She should check out your gym and maybe she’d like it.

    Are we hitting the track tomorrow? I have no meetings afterwards and am completely stoked about that!

    • http://www.fitwomensweekly.com TaylorR

      You can def get a pretty 5K pr! One day I’ll get the bug to go after a new 5K pr! lol, It’s amazing how goals can change and sometimes it makes me sad that I am just not into it as much as I was! I need to get that speed motivation back! see you in the am!

  • steph

    I was JUST having this convo with myself this morning! I realize all of my bad choices/decisions have been based on settling…because I was not confident in myself. No more, I say :)

    • http://www.fitwomensweekly.com TaylorR

      Yay! No more!

  • Cherie Wash

    Thanks for sharing, Kindal. I want to improve my shape/ body. I have settled by thinking that old age won’t allow me to have the body I want to have. CRAP..otherwise known as settling.

  • http://day-with-kt.com Kim

    Oh – what a timely post!! For several months I have wondered if maybe finishing an ultra wasn’t in my cards – but that would be settling!!! My current goal involves an event/race I just signed up for on September 11!!!

    • http://www.fitwomensweekly.com TaylorR

      Yes you can def do it! Excited you registered!!

  • Eveliz

    Most of your posts are always timely. I’ve been struggling with something personal and this just pushed me over the edge… I’m settling and I’m going to do something about changing it.

    My fitness goal is to lose 10 pounds. I want to be more toned. My target goal date is my birthday – April. I’m going to do it slowly but make the appropriate changes needed.

    Thanks, Taylor.

    • http://www.fitwomensweekly.com TaylorR

      Haha, thanks Eveliz. I think a lot of us are right here and it rings true. You can def accomplish your goals and I love that you’re not trying to do it over night!

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