I’ve always been overweight, I’ll always be overweight…
I eat clean, I workout regularly and I’m still not the smallest girl in the room…
I think we often get these two things very confused. Everyone knows that settling isn’t something we strive to do, but acceptance…
Well, it’s acceptable.
We accept what we can’t control yet are able to determine if we should keep going or if we should give up. Either way, the decision is thought out and the best for where we are at the moment.
We settle for things we can change, we just don’t want to.
We settle when we don’t want to fight any longer. We settle when we just don’t care any longer.
Or when we think we can’t do better.
You Can’t Keep “Settled Feelings”… Settled
It’s kinda strange because when you try to settle, nothing actually settles.
You’re left an emotional wreck with subconscious feelings of guilt, embarrassment, and loss of pride.
Why? Because you know you’re capable of more, and others know you are too.
Maybe not at first.
When first settling it can mask itself as acceptance, you can push the feelings way down into the pit of your stomach, you can almost fully convince yourself that you’re not settling, that you’re doing what’s best for you right now.
But eventually, the feelings begin to flood up and you are made aware of your unhappiness and disappointment.
And you know what?
That’s not always a bad thing.
Sometimes recognizing what’s going on can help to fuel your motivation more than ever before. Creating a new sense of awareness, urgency and drive.
Sometimes, not always, but sometimes…. Settling can push you to unsettle.
Settling Is Easy
Why am I talking about this today?
Because I don’t want to settle, and I don’t want you to settle for anything in life.
I was at an event last week promoting my gym when a lady came up to me and told me that it wasn’t that she didn’t mind sweating, she didn’t mind being sore…
She just didn’t want to workout. No questions. Period.
Well, okay then.
Settling for an unhealthy body (she was unhealthy), and afraid. I know the type, I see it all the time… it wasn’t that she did’t want to workout, otherwise why come up to a fitness table just to tell me that?
She was trying to come off (make an excuse for not doing what needs to be done) as her choice to avoid fitness when in reality it was clear she was afraid of it.
Afraid to start something that could change her body, mind, spirit and overall life.
Wow, when it’s put like that, fitness can be scary.
But not as scary as sitting on your ass for the rest of your life, taking the easy road of settling. Think about how hard that actually is to do nothing.
It’s not easy to continuously make up excuses for yourself.
It’s hard work!
You’re trying to convince your toughest critic, YOU, that you’re in making the right decisions.
Just think… if you’re avoiding certain things like a workout, or cleaning up your diet…
Happiness comes to those that never settle.
Am I right?
Types Of Settling
Before we answer the important question of how to avoid settling, let’s quickly talk about the different kinds.
When you know what’s going on, you can recognize it and then move on.
- Fearful Settling: Settling because you’re afraid of the outcome or lack of outcome should you try to do something new to move forward.
- Lustful Settling: In the moment where things seem too good to be true and you rest on your laurels. This is often temporary settling, when lust wears off and the truth is more apparent.
- Poor Confidence Settling: You don’t think you deserve better, you think you’re stuck where you are and that’s just the way life is.
- Too Busy Settling: You’ve got so much going in in life that you can’t focus on improving or growing any part of your life. You can’t focus and you feel as if you’re just trying to get through each day without it falling apart. Life is stagnant.
It really doesn’t matter what kind of settling you have fallen victim to (I’ve fallen victim to them all… many times!), what is important is that you’re able to accept the state you’re in.
Acceptance Is The Magic Key
Something is stagnant today, that doesn’t mean that it can’t liven up tomorrow. Or even in the next hour… minute… second…
When you realize that you’re in a poor state, you’ve accepted the truth.
Accept your state of settling, be happy with it and stay right where you are.
Accept that you had settled and start making small steps to change.
Acceptance is a conscious choice and one that regardless of the end decision you should feel comfortable with.
Acceptance is also, being present where you are and giving yourself some slack. You are where you are, you know your limitations and you know your goals. Each day is a day to get closer to them without beating yourself up for where you are today.
Does that make sense?
The Path To Get Stronger
Before I sign off for Motivational Monday, I want to share my current state of acceptance.
I have accepted that I do not have the strength or the definition that I know I am capable of. I have accepted that for the past few months I have “settled” through my up and down efforts.
But for the past 3 weeks, I have been putting in the work. Each week, I reflect over training to decide if I really gave it what I should have in order to work towards a better me.
What exactly does that mean?
Well… Instead of focusing on my overall goal, I’m enjoying focusing on each workout. And knowing that if I just stick to the workouts then I will get to my goals.
Here’s what my workouts looked like last week:
- Monday: Kettlebell workout
- Tuesday: Half Marathon Training (7 miles with goal pace intervals)
- Wednesday: Half Marathon Training (4 miles) – Deadlift Sets at 160 lb – Kettlebell
- Thursday: Bootcamp Butt Training
- Friday: Rest
- Saturday: 6 Miles
It was a tough week.
My muscles were sore… my butt exhausted but I felt great. I felt accomplished, and that is what happens when you get up on settling and start taking action.
You feel good.
You feel awesome.
So let me leave you with this…